Christmas is a time when we give gifts to friends, and it doesn't take much to figure that these six sub-headings from this article fit like hand in glove in Christian ministry whether that be a formal pastoral relationship, or layperson to layperson ministry. (www.news.com.au)
One quote in the article comes from Domonique Bertolucci, life coach and author of The Happiness Code, stated: "You need different types of friends in the same way that you need food from different food groups. Different types of friends serve different purposes and nourish and enrich our lives in different ways."
These are the six types of friends as listed in the News.com article everyone needs
- The friend who's cooler than you
- The friend who is up for anything
- The friend who you aspire to be
- The friend who doesn't know any of your other friends
- The friend who's painfully honest
- The friend who you've known longer than you've known yourself.
Applied to our Christian network
Having a "friend who's cooler than you" is a great truth, particularly for Christian young people who are trying to find their feet within their youth network and wanting to fit in and have someone as a friend is certainly "cooler than you" becomes a critical component to self worth and value.
We all see people who we deem as being 'cool' and what that means for one person, may be totally different to another. For example, a young tennis player may think that the champion tennis player friend within their orbit is "cool as" whereas another who is an avid Internet Games enthusiast may think the local champion Internet Games player friend is "cool".
Allan McMahon was in our 1972 Illawarra representative relay 4 x 100 metres team. In 1971 I'd won the triple jump in Queensland as a NSW representative. I was was right up there. But Allan McMahon was also the NSW Junior 100 metre Beach Sprint champion at that time and it was noticeable when he ran on track with his "high knee lift" (a beach sprinting technique). I felt Allan was a whole lot "cooler" than me and it was great fun the Illawarra relay team finishing second in the NSW Senior Athletic Championships. Allan went to play Rugby League for both NSW and Australia.
Having a "friend who is up for anything" is also very important as a young Christian. Sadly, too many Christians are seen as being dry and boring and quite frankly, painful to be with. What a change it is to be with a Christian friend who is "up for anything" and engages in the most outrageous things (not illegal or life threatening) and what fantastic fun it is.
As a young man living in Wollongong I visited friends in Sydney who were good mates of my parents, Norm and Ruth Patterson. I'd visit them maybe three times a year as Norm was a Speedway enthusiast. I'd plan the trip to Sydney knowing that Norm would be thrilled to have me and anyone else, accompany him to the Speedway. It was terrific fun and he'd be calling out the most outrageous comments in the spirit of the occasion.
Having a "friend who you aspire to be" as a young Christian who like a mentoring situation whereby someone who you aspire to be like might even take you under their wing and you become their 'project' (as it were). All Christian young people need to have these types of people to illustrate to them how to react as a Christian in all manner of situations. We aspire to be like them.
In my case as a high schooler, Bill Hellier our Canberra Baptist Junior Hockey coach took particular interest in the development of each boy in the Under 12's and followed that through as the years went on. Bill collected us boys in his Austin A/40 and arranged the annual Pie Nights (presentation night) and they were fantastic times. I aspired to be a Bill Hellier.
Having a "friend who doesn't know any of your other friends" is also a very important part of one's self worth. This situation is where you can be you in a totally separate context and where this particular friendship is private and away from any other associations. This is really important to your development as being "who you are".
Terry Ryan was this friend for me. He was a fireman on the NSW Railways when I began as a trainee engineman. We were in the same 'boarding house' in Goulburn and he set me aside with a string code and ethic of work practise. When the alarm goes off to get to work, get up immediately. If you'll say you'll be there, be there. Terry Ryan stood me in good steam and when I married, Terry Ryan was my Best Man.
Having a "friend who is painfully honest" can sometimes be your best friend. Someone you trust and has your best interests at heart is a friend dearer to your future and well-being than a soul mate. This friend will point things out to you and you know deep within your heart that this friend has no agenda other than being your friend.
Peter Scotland is this friend to me. We first met in 1971. He visited my parents in Canberra as he started at radio 2CA as a technician and I called in to visit my parents from the Port Kembla Locomotive Depot. We hit it off immediately and we were both each other's Groomsmen. Peter has always had the freedom to speak into my heart. One occasion was after a national radio interview I did, where later Peter said some important things which I took on board.
Having a "friend who you've known longer than yourself" for any young Christian is critical as this is the person to whom you can say anything. They will neither be shocked or offended. They've heard it all before. This friend is truer than a brother, in the mold of David and Jonathan. No 'face' can fool this friend. No 'story line' gets past this friend. But so too, this friend will be a friend regardless of how stupid or reckless you've been. This friend will remain the same whether regardless of how successful you've been. This person is a friend.
Basil Sellers is this friend to me. I first met Basil Sellers at the 1988 Centennial Cricket Dinner. I'd been the Chaplain to the Australian Cricket Team since 1984 and Basil Sellers was the host of the official table I'd been assigned. We got on immediately and from that a friendship developed. Over the years, not only has Basil Sellers sponsored critical components of my ministry but I've utilised his wisdom numerous times. He's always available for a 'wisdom chat' where ideas and future decisions are explored and has taken a specific interest in our children's progress. Basil Sellers understands me better than I sometimes understand myself.
Roundup: These six types are friends are essential in Christian network. I've given personal examples of how specific people have been theses types of friends in my experience.
The critical factor is how anyone of us as Christians might be a type of friend to those around us and the careful attention any one of us might give when selecting a gift for each of our special friends.
Dr Mark Tronson is a Baptist minister (retired) who served as the Australian cricket team chaplain for 17 years (2000 ret) and established Life After Cricket in 2001. He was recognised by the Olympic Ministry Medal in 2009 presented by Carl Lewis Olympian of the Century. He has written 24 books, and enjoys writing. He is married to Delma, with four adult children and grand-children.
Mark Tronson's archive of articles can be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/mark-tronson.html
