What is even more inane however is the amount of money spent on these wedding days all for the sake of vanity. These shows encourage mere self-centeredness, narcissism, beauty as the ultimate ideal and in general everything a union of two souls should NOT be. Instead of the focus being on declaring your love and lifelong devotion it's about appearances and how the happy couple comes off to the invited and non-invited alike. I mourn the hundreds of dollars being shelled out now in Australia on wedding photographers, cakes and the shoes without even getting started on the cost of the dress.
Cheapness is a gift… and a curse…
In all of this I feel the most sorry for the grooms. If you're beloved is big-headed enough to have to have that perfect gown (that happens to be valued at anything over $1000) here's a hint for you: she ain't never going to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Practicality is a trait almost always absent in the wedding planning world and waste is commonplace. For me, I sold my engagement ring because it was much too valuable and elegant for the likes of someone like me (heartless maybe but we got tattoo wedding rings so we couldn't lose them or break our vows as easily) and my dress was no more than a hundred dollars. Tack on the extra hundred for the registry fee and we were married.
I'm not saying that everyone has to spend the minimum amount on a wedding (my husband and I are just particularly frugal, it works for us) and it's not even about the cost; it's about the lengths that Bridezillas will go to in getting their 'big day'. It's just another day and frankly it'd probably be better if you had a shotgun wedding if you honestly wanted to eliminate living in sin for a second longer. Then they make out this big farce like their future husbands should care less about how pretty and perfect their dress is, when – let's be honest – if it is a straight guy they're marrying he's a lot more concerned with getting the dress-off than seeing it displayed on the big day.
Feeling stunning in that perfect dress is more about impressing other women than men, after all gushings of "you're so beautiful" and ego-stroking is on the job-list for the average bridesmaid. If the goal is to get other women to have dress-envy and to show everyone that your hubby-to-be is really, really lucky then most likely in reality he is not so lucky at all. And if he's the one who is shelling out to soothe the bride's ego then he is a big sucker with a capital S and deserves to be left in credit card ruin when the beautiful bride who just had to have that dress turns out to be a shopaholic in debt.
The final breakdown
Vanity of vanities, oh how weddings have turned out to be all about vanity. Why then are some of us Christians creating a big stink about gay weddings when there is virtually no meaning attached to the average wedding nowdays? If weddings have become nothing more than fashion parades and fashion parades are all queer-owned anyway then why not give this away to deviants too? Extreme but certainly if you're out to beautify and immortalize yourself in wedding photos then you've come a long way from what the start of a marriage should be and you probably should be marrying your own reflection.
The wedding day has become as meaningless as event as Christmas is. Let's face it, marriages don't last – Christian and non-Christian alike. And why this breakdown? I'd like to pin it on the idiocy of shows like Say Yes To The Dress which pervert the wedding into barely more than a dog show but unfortunately these programs were after the fact and just go to further make a mockery of traditional marriage. Marriage was a mockery a little before the cable generation.
No… the breakdown of the Christian consensus is the culprit. There is no real value to marriage outside of making the declaration of it in the sight of God and His people. Without God's boundaries and laws what is stopping the man (or woman, let's be equal here) from sleeping with every secretary that takes his fancy while being married? Integrity? Loyalty? Vows? Ha. Those are words without value in a fleeting life with no eternal results. And what of 'love'? That changes. We change. But there is one Constant without that Constant marriage is just empty sentiments between two people witnessed by others that can't hold either party to these fleeting sentiments.
Say Yes to the Farce
So Say Yes To The Farce. Pretend it means something to get all dolled up, throw your money down the toilet and make a show in front of everyone you know. Sadly to some people it's all the value their lives can amount to, immortalized in a 'big day' that's all about them. Or you could alternatively can the TV take on it and reflect on what a wedding is supposed to be – before GOD, vows with the Eternal Maker in mind. No thousand-dollar dress can substitute humble devotion connected by the love of God and even more no thousand-dollar dress can give a marriage any sort of stability.
Here's my advice: If you're a bride-to-be, it'd be better if you spend the days before a wedding with a complete avoidance of mirrors and your own appearance, charity will make you attractive and not what you wear. If you're a groom-to-be and you're marrying someone who treats a wedding like a spend-a-thon – get out now because being married certainly won't stimulate any more brain cells to grow in her head for the rest of your blissful lives together.
And remember Who is important when you say "I do". God does not take vows lightly.
Bridget Brenton has spent seven years in China and currently lives on the Gold Coast with her husband Steven. Over the last decade she has been studying all things philosophy, apologetics and the supernatural and now is endeavoring to put that knowledge into ministry. She writes a blog on the paranormal and it's relation to practical Christianity.
Bridget Brenton's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/bridget-brenton.html