God asked me a question
“How are things? “ God asked me one day. I answered in a small voice - “ I am not sure . How do you think I feel? Why do you ask?". God, I felt answered “I want to hear it from you”. That both flattered and un-nerved me; that God would even bother to take my spiritual temperature, when he could answer the question of how I am even better than I could.
I have written the article with a title of “ let me rock your world” because that is what I want from God right now. I have been going through an interesting season. I would describe it as challenging because that is TRUE for me. But the truth is that God always uses our seasons to shape and hone us and our responses - so whilst this season is presently challenging,
I believe it WILL prove to be good. But, having said that I am ok with the seasons that have gone before, I must confess that I am also going – God is this it? I want more and I want to be stirred up in my soul. I want to be used for his glory. I want a new, refreshed and refreshing perspective on life that is informed by holiness and wholeness. So why did I find it more comfortable to tell all of you my hopes and fears, than to tell God who is my father and my friend?
God says – “let me rock your world”
I am listening to a song and it talks of God being a saviour and a brother. I will happily sing this and then forget that this relational intimacy that he has with me means that he will know my aforementioned desires, before I have even spoken them out or thought them inside.
I make a few moves in one direction – usually speaking out my thoughts to people who cannot do anything about them. On the other hand, the very force, or Being who can answer my deepest calls gets last mention, rather than first-mover advantage. I am trying to rack my numskull brain to understand why I would put God last on my list of “must talk-to”. Then it hit me - there is no risk .
The friends cannot turn around and DO anything about your circumstances. They can talk to you or offer a sympathetic shoulder to cry on or listening ear. But they are not going to be able to actually change your life. But God has the audacity to say to me “ I want to hear from you” “ Let me rock your world!” If I respond or say yes to any of this then this means that I risk the possibility of being disappointed. Can I really be thinking that I am disappointed about God?
God cannot ever disappoint - can he ?
I just do not know how to begin to even process what I have written. It feels like I am even swearing – it feels wrong to write this. Yet I know that there are people who are reading these words ( me included ) who might feel that God IS disappointing. God CAN disappoint.
Whatever area you have entrusted to God and hoped that he would come through, but he appears to have not means that you land in a space called “disappointed” . You are, spiritually speaking, “once bitten, twice shy”. You get it. God does not move, he never moves and he does not want to “rock your world”. He works in other peoples’ lives, but not your own.
There are people who faithfully pray out their issue through thick and thin, for days/months/years and they will never see their prayers answered. The prayer you pray becomes a list, a non-expectant statement that is far from faith filled and instead just seems a bit pointless. You are living in “ disappointed” .
I have found love – which does not disappoint
I do not know how to “bring this home”. I am not old enough, experienced enough or wise enough to answer the question of how to get over “disappointed”.
Right on cue, the song I was listening to whilst writing this article changed and the line became, “we accept the invitation to your love” and it got me thinking; have I ever been disappointed by the love of God? I have never, ever been disappointed by God when he met me in his love.
And this is not a characteristic of God that he holds at arm’s length from himself. When you experience his love, it is GOD you are experiencing, nothing less. There is nothing more than he can give. His whole world, universe and character stems from his infinite love.
Just one more time
When I think of this, it melts my disappointment a little bit. Because I know that Gods’ love is not disappointing. It is a place of deep surprise, utter joy and hope-filled thankfulness. From this stance, it makes it fractionally easier to pray, one last time.
To hope, one last time, to point the finger at your mountain and ask it to move one last time. I have asked God for breakthrough many times and watching nothing happen has knocked the stuffing out of me.
But my pastor said something that stuck in my mind – “ you are only ever one prayer away from your breakthrough”. Now fill your heart with faith, remember the love of God, point your finger at your mountain and ask God to rock your world.
Rosie Robinson is a UK young writer
Rosie Robinson is a PSI young writer based in England.