The independent woman is such an interesting concept to look into, especially as a woman.
After speaking to quite a few people about this topic and asking them what they think of when they hear the topic ‘independent woman’, a lot of them referred to a feminist culture or a utilisation of the phrase to justify their ‘singleness’.
These responses made me think. I really understand how one might want to justify being single, but in saying that, why can’t society build up people who are single and help them see the positives in that stage of their life, rather than making them feel like they have to justify themselves.
I also started questioning: What is actually wrong with being an independent woman? Why do people think of it as something to ‘justify’ or to hide their feelings behind? And why does our society use it as a surreptitious method of concealing a woman’s desire to find love, but is struggling to find someone?
I’ll be honest, I have never been the sort of person to identify as an ‘independent woman’, or to follow the stereotypical definition of how our society perceives an independent woman to be. Personally, I would define the independent woman as someone who holds themselves gracefully, confidently, and joyfully while God leads them throughout the different stages of their life.
Independent women in the Bible
When I think about the independent woman, I think of all the women in the Bible and how they were all so independent and strong in their own way. The beauty about them was that their complete reliance was on God, and although they dreamed of getting married, of having a baby, of saving a nation, or protecting their family, they allowed God to have his way in their life.
Ruth was one of those outstanding women. She is someone I greatly look up to, not because she has an incredible story, but because of her trust, faithfulness, and righteous independence that guided her to God’s ultimate plan for her life.
She had every right to justify herself, to be upset and angry, and desire the worst for others who had it better than she did, however, she used her situations and weaknesses and gave them to God who positioned her in a place where she would be blessed and prosper. She allowed God to guide her path and because of that, she was blessed.
The key word here is ‘allowed’, and the reason I mention this is because sometimes when a woman claims to be independent, there is an element of spite or justification for their uncertainty or lack of trust in what God has in store for them and their life.
I can account to this completely. There are many times when I am so enraptured by my circumstances that I forget to rely on God or ask him for help. Sometimes I can be spiteful and believe I can do it on my own, but it does not matter how many times I tell myself I am independent, I am strong, and I am capable – I will always need my God.
There is a time for everything
As a single woman, no matter what age, sometimes we can get frustrated with our circumstance and question where God is in all of this. What I often try to remember is that God knows the perfect timing for all things to happen in our life.
Yes, there are times when we can feel like we are falling behind on the ‘dating’ train, and no matter how much we put ourselves out there, nothing ever seems to come from it. Or sometimes we can feel even worse when everyone around us seems to be getting engaged or married and we are still single. But it is okay! We are just in a different stage to those people, and there is always a perfect reason for that.
God tells us in Ecclesiastes chapter three verses one to eight, ‘
God also tells us in Psalm chapter 119 verses 73-74
When we concern ourselves with worry for the future, or even a moment in the day where we question where God is in our circumstances, God reminds us in the Bible what we should do:
Philippians chapter four verse six,
Matthew chapter six verses 25-27,
Proverbs chapter three verses five to six,
We sometimes cannot control our worry, but we can teach ourselves to rely on God, to talk to him about our situations, and believe in the promise that ‘all things work together for good to those who love God’ (Romans chapter eight verse 28).
When I am struggling to understand why I am dealing with the certain things I am dealing with at the time, I must remember who ultimately holds my future in his hands and believe that, in time, all will reveal itself for my good.
Maybe, this time of my life is a season of training to become a better person, or to grow in wisdom, understanding, faith and patience. Whatever it is, I need to battle it out with prayer and supplication to God.
I cannot pretend to understand why certain things happen to certain people, or why some people have it easier than others, but I cannot compare my life to theirs – despite the unfairness I may feel.
God ultimately has a greater plan and purpose for us, and when he reveals it, we can be nothing but grateful for the promises he has given us.
Ladies, I really encourage you to grow in your independence during this stage of your life. Whether you are single, dating, engaged, or married, you become an independent woman when you are confident in who is leading you. I know this can be seen as a bit of an oxymoron, but the moment you put your complete faith and trust in God is the moment you will develop your independence in life to become a strong, faithful and joyful woman – because you don’t need to worry about the future, for you know who holds it.
Let’s become strong, Godly women. Proud of who we are, whatever stage of life we are in, and constantly joyful because we have a hope and a future.
Cartia Moore is a sword fighter, trained and skilled in the art of fencing. She has recently graduated from her Bachelor of Arts degree and has completed an Honours in Screen & Media Studies. She is now going on to do a Master of Teaching (Secondary), focusing in the teaching areas of English and Film studies. She is passionate and driven to inspire and encourage others to seek and find their worth and value in Him.
Cartia Moore’s previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/cartia-moore.html