Every day in recent months I have awoken and have wondered what is actually happening beneath the surface of my life.
I have had great words spoken, prayers prayed, declarations made and yet I find myself not seeing the manifestations of these things in my life.
A few years ago a dear friend of mine reminded me that a tree in winter is doing its deepest work and is actually working its hardest out of all the seasons. You can’t see much happening up above the surface, but she assured me that there was so much activity below the surface that I just couldn’t see.
I was reminded of this recently going through this past winter. It felt like not much was happening above the surface and all I was doing was the normal daily routine.
I was not really feeling overly spiritual and it’s seemed my life was lacking those spark moments that remind me why I get up each day and why I love being a representative of the Kingdom. I would see the bubbling testimonies of fired up Jesus followers every time I went to Church and would wonder and think that I used to be one of those.
So what do you do in these moments and what questions arise in your mind? Here are some that have come into mine:
Why have I lost the spark?
Is it supposed to be this way?
Am I missing something?
Have I missed my time?
Did I hear right?
Well I would love to say I have answers to all those questions, but if I am honest I am still working through them. What I do know is that while I’m in the midst of it I know deep in my heart that there is so much going on beneath the surface and the even bigger truth is that God is with me. He never leaves me even if it feels like it!
Psalm 139 highlights this with David pouring out his heart to God and God speaking to him and reminding him who He is; what his character is about and how much he love he has for his children!
1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
These are 10 verses that we can hold onto in those moments of not knowing what’s going on beneath the surface and when we have all those questions that are just about being a human full of emotions and dealing with seasons of life.
God knows me
As I just ponder over these verses God I am uplifted and it reminds me that my God knows me inside and out and in fact if I am honest He is the only one that knows me better than myself. I can’t run from Him, I can’t hide and nothing is new to Him.
This could be a really scary thought considering some of the thoughts that have passed through my mind and some of the words and actions that have come from this past season as I have been living and making my bed at times in the depths of the valleys.
But instead what it reveals to me is how much God loves me. For God in His purest form is Love (1 John chapter 4, verse 8). It is not a choice for God, it’s not a thing that ebbs and flows like us, it is the very substance of God. If God is the substance of Love I know that the everything that God is doing in and through me and my life is because he loves me. God wants to shape me and mould me to be able to carry and pour out that same love that is God.
What is God’s love? Well let me finish with what God’s word says it is:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(1 Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4-7)
Justin Monaghan is currently launching as a professional prophetic artist under the label JR Faith Creations. He is married to Liana and lives at the beautiful beach of Port Willunga. They run a creative home fellowship to see the creatives rise up to their full potential for the Kingdom of God.
Check out JR Faith Creations to see some of his art at www.jrfaithcreations.com