When prophetic Mars Hill US preacher Mark Driscol's series on the Song of Solomon hit the 'wire' in 2008 there was a surprising calm as his style of presentation, although direct, confronting and alarming, was received with more understanding ears across Christendom. (au.christiantoday.com)
A previous series nine years earlier, written by others, were drowned in a baying for blood by some in the evangelical world and the question I put nine years later, was what had happened in that intervening nine year period. A number of things were identified. The Internet bought porn into the privacy of a PC. The Internet housed 'wild as' Christian Sex sites.
Moreso, more mature heads began to rethink the value of airing such issues when some of the statistics from evangelical faith communities (around the western world) were showing alarming rates of Churched teen pregnancies and STD's. Sadly, some still retain their 'head in the sand' philosophy where their own reading of the scriptures has four fingers pointing back at themselves – ie., in God's eyes even our righteous hearts are as fifthly rags.
There has been an ever so slight move toward a different approach in the secular media and this has been evidenced by numerous articles, many by women wanting a better deal for their daughters when dating, and how best to deal with the constant presentation of sex.
In Britain for example, the latest figure has 4 out of 10 under age girls (under 16) have had sex with their boyfriends. But its not just this, relationships at that age don't last and although both the boys and the girls link up with others, it's the girls who get labelled for sleeping around and all that goes with such a stigma. (www.smh.com.au)
A shift
There has been a huge shift in recent times from mere 'promiscuity' dolled up as 'relationships' to what it actually means to be in a relationship, self respect, safe sex, waiting, what is desirable, what is out of bounds, porn doesn't represent real life, and now that so many porn stars have revealed their own HIV status, some sensible reporting is coming to the fore. (www.news.com.au)
One such example from news.com was titled 'Unexpected things women find sexy' and it's almost like reading a 1950's leaflet for young men and women or a re-read of the Song of Solomon – there is nothing new under the sun. (www.news.com.au)
Even a cursory glance at its suggestions reveal a very different mood and these need to be articulated for all young people, both boys and the girls.
First, a nice cologne is not necessarily the end all and be all, it's a man's own body natural scent and this itself is a powerful draw card to women – chemistry to chemistry.
Second, old fashioned courteous and caring chivalry is alive and well in the dating and relationship scene in this new modern world.
Drop the tough guy image and be tender with her. Paint her nails, rub her feet, a massage, give her lovely bath suds, pamper her a little. Indulgence is the new mood.
It's back to the future with intimacy. The advice is to tell her your secrets, share your heart, reveal your vulnerabilities and she won't think you're weak at all - she'll think you're strong, brave and most of all, special as!
(Interestingly watching a social media documentary recently, senior high school boys once alone turn to gaming on their mobile phones, whereas senior high school girls text each other about relationships).
Your walking rhythm is surprisingly important as to how a woman responds. Yes, being a fine dancer is important (many women love dancing), but your deportment is paramount. Sloughing says something about your character as is straight upright walking, not necessarily a macho image which is a very limited expression and a turn-off.
Straight walking expresses a man who knows where he's going, he has the world at his feet, a solid bet, a man who is both forthright on matters of substance but gentle and responsive in matters of intimacy. It's how a man sits, the way he gets up, the manner in which he presents himself - it speaks volumes.
(All this reminds me of that "milk" television advert from the late 2000s where the last man standing at the Outback Ball is he who drinks the "milk" while the others are spread eagled "drunk as a skunk" - very unpleasant.)
This is the new reality. Even a cursory read of the Song of Solomon and the Epistles dealing with relationships has all these, but what secular journalist reads the Bible?
Dr Mark Tronson is a Baptist minister (retired) who served as the Australian cricket team chaplain for 17 years (2000 ret) and established Life After Cricket in 2001. He was recognised by the Olympic Ministry Medal in 2009 presented by Carl Lewis Olympian of the Century. He has written 24 books, and enjoys writing. He is married to Delma, with four adult children and grand-children.
Mark Tronson's archive of articles can be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/mark-tronson.html