As you may have read, this is the year of leaning in for me. I’ve experienced fascinating freedom and discovered a few consequences and now I’m learning about unexpected sacrifices.
Because sometimes when you lean in, you have to say goodbye.
Think for a moment about the act of leaning in. Physically it demands your whole body to be focused in one area. You can’t lean in and lean back at the same time. You can’t lean to the side and lean forward either.
Even if leaning to the side and leaning forward are both good things, your attention will be divided and you can’t do it physically.
Getting Ready To Say Farewell
So what are the unexpected sacrifices? Saying farewell to a three year journey.
At the end of 2018 I will officially be saying farewell. This will be my last year writing for PSI and Christian Today.
It’s bittersweet. I’ve so enjoyed writing for PSI. I’ve so loved being able to share my thoughts with the world, and so enjoyed the companionship and encouragement from my fellow PSI writers and editors. But in continually choosing to lean in I’ve discovered I need to let go of some of the good things life has brought into my life to make room for the more God has in store.
From now until the end of the year, I’ll be sharing some of my favorite articles I’ve written as well as telling you about the more God is asking me to lean towards.
Getting Ready For The Unexpected
For the first time in many years, I feel the excitement of the unexpected road calling me.
Every time I read JRR Tolkien’s The Lord Of The Rings, my heart thrilled at these words, “It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” And … “Then something Tookish woke up inside him, & he wished to go & see the great mountains, & hear the pine-trees & the waterfalls, & explore the caves, & wear a sword instead of a walking-stick.”
Over the last several years, my excitement for the unexpected was replaced by anxiety. I focused more on the “dangerous business” side of life over the “something Tookish woke up” side.
The truth is leaning in is a dangerous business, but the act of leaning in requires you to do it from a Tookish place. It’s a choice not something forced.
It’s choosing to walk the heights of the greatest mountains, instead of being pushed into it.
It’s the art of leaning in. It’s God passion, it’s trusting that He has me regardless of how far I still have yet to climb. It’s knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I’m right where I need to be, to become more fully alive. More fully the woman I AM created me to be.
It’s nice to let go of anxiety.
Don’t get me wrong, it is hard because anxiety holds me like a vice and even when I try to walk away it tightens around me like killer vine, popping up and growing everywhere. But with each minuscule movement where I manage to lean in to the BIG story God has for my life, the less anxiety can find a place to take root.
Not because what I’m doing isn’t terrifying. But because my trust, my perspective, isn’t in me anymore. It’s in God.
And what an incredible feeling it is to actually get excited about the unexpected hike ahead of me.
I hope you’ll continue to join my adventures. To challenge yourself to living the BIGGEST story, verses the small one.
Charis Joy Jackson is working as a full-time missionary with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) a non-profit international oranisation. During the day she makes movies and in her spare time is writes novels. www.charisjoyjackson.com
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