Pop singer Taylor Swift said it well in her song lyrics, "Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes." I promise you, I'm not a Taylor Swift fan (so you breathe a sigh of relief and keep reading), but ever since I heard those lyrics, they've stuck in my head and have me thinking about the state of my heart.
I watch a lot of medical shows; in fact—I go crazy for them. I squirm, squeal and cover my eyes when I see blood and guts, but I also can't turn away.
The medical shows I watch are Australian, so I'm yet to watch a medical team attend to a bullet wound (which would be pretty rare here), but instinctively I know (and I'm sure you do too) that no one in their right mind would stick a Band-Aid over a bullet hole. That kind of injury requires professional treatment which extends far beyond a tiny strip of plastic.
It's obvious that with a physical hole as severe as a gunshot, drastic measures are needed to stop the internal and external bleeding, and a Band-Aid simply wouldn't cut it!
Yet, when we are 'shot in the heart' from a break up, a rejection, or possibly even a betrayal, we often don't take drastic measures to ensure that the 'hole' in our heart is healed properly. We find temporary, flimsy, 'Band-Aid-like' solutions and desperately try to stop the bleeding.
Breaking up is hard to do
Not too long ago, I went through my third breakup in the space of a year, with each breakup having a significant factor in common: rejection. I've never experienced so much consecutive rejection from males. This hasn't always been the case for me, so after the third guy ripped out my heart (taking with him the last bits of my self-esteem), I considered maybe there was a bigger picture going on, and maybe God was trying to get my attention.
In a state of absolute desperation and heartache, I got down on my knees before God and begged him for answers. I told him I couldn't deal with any more rejection, and I needed it to stop. I needed some understanding of what was going on.
In His grace and kindness, God showed me that my heart had numerous holes in it, and my 'Band-Aid' of choice had been finding the next relationship. In the pain which comes from a relationship ending, I would run as quickly as I could to the next one, applying the temporary fix over the huge emotional hole.
The relationships were temporary solutions and they'd stop pain for a while but sure enough and soon enough, they would end and I'd be left more battle-scarred than before.
I didn't know I was doing this at the time, of course. I justified it to myself in all sorts of ways; like—"God doesn't want me to be alone," and "I've got to do my part, he isn't going to appear on my doorstep!" Neither of those thoughts is totally untrue, but that wasn't the point. The point was this: God wanted to heal my broken heart, properly and thoroughly, and Band-Aids weren't going to cut it.
True healing
So, I decided to stop trying to find new relationships and actually seek the hand of the Almighty Physician to heal my heart. I feel like my heart is on God's operating table; bleeding, and totally bare before Him. And even though my natural instinct is to avoid this pain and jump off the operating table to quickly find another Band-Aid, I really just want deep, true healing once and for all.
What about you? What's been your Band-Aid of choice? Is it time to stop using Band-Aids over the hurt and ask God to do some inner healing?
Teagan spends her 9 to 5 as a Social Media Producer in Sydney. After 5, she can be found running, drinking coffee, shopping, on the beach, or cooking up a storm. She studied Psychology at university, and plans to 'one day' complete her Masters and work as a shrink, but in the meantime, she is navigating her way through this thing called life and trying to stop and smell the roses along the way.
Teagan Russell's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/teagan-russell.html