I still remember him so clearly, with his white hair and time-weathered creases. But the lines were gentle and his eyes soft and warm. I've never been good at remembering names, but his face still lingers, along with his words. He was a war veteran at the Church I went to as a child, and over lunch he would tell me stories of his time at war and how his sweetheart waited back at home, hoping and praying for him to come back.
The details of the stories have faded, but his finishing line has always stayed with me: "On my tombstone, I only want two words. But God."
I was young, and didn't know what he meant by that so I would just smile and nod amiably. But he would repeat it, earnestly, willing me to understand. And later, on bike rides and walks to the bus, I would think of those two words and wonder what he meant, and why it was so important to him. To me they were an incomplete sentence, and that bugged me to no end!
It was years later when reading through Ephesians that the light was switched on and I realised why they were so important. It started by looking at the first verses of chapter 2:
Ephesians 2 verse 1-3 – And you...were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world... among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath...
This is describing a Christian's initial state of being – dead in trespasses and sin. And as I've grown older I've seen all too clearly that it describes me to a tee. I too was born sinning, my very nature at enmity with God. I've followed my own desires, walking according to my will, fulfilling the lusts and whims of my carnal mind. I deserve God's wrath. I deserve judgement for the things I have done.
But Ephesians goes on to say in the next verse :
Ephesians 2 verse 4 – But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ...
But God
I am a sinner, deserving the wrath and judgement of a Holy God. But in my hopeless state, with my sins chains around me, the darkness weighing me down to my death, God looks down on me with life in his eyes.
Jesus Christ died in my place, taking upon himself the punishment I deserve. Completely perfect, the Son of God, He was crucified on a rugged roman cross, bearing the weight of the sins of the world to bring freedom for those captured by deaths grip. My debt was settled in the blood that flowed freely from his wounds.
But for God, let me now say, and I would be as any other child of the world, enslaved to sin and destined for death. But God looked upon me with love and grace, withholding from me the punishment I deserve and giving me what I definitely don't deserve – eternal life!
I now know why the old veteran would repeat those two words to me. I too have seen myself as I really am – a sinner deserving of God's wrath. But here I am writing these words with a healthy hand, a beating heart, and the peace of knowing my unpayable debt has been cleared. Not because of anything I have done - nothing I can do would ever repay my debt.
But God.
Thomas Devenish lives in Hobart, Tasmania. One of nine children, He works as a motion graphics editor and enjoys photography and the creative arts.
Thomas Devenish's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/thomas-devenish.html