"To lose confidence is a haunting and hurting negative that robs life of its blessings and happiness. It brings fear and distrust. To lose confidence in one's self can be even more devastating. It leaves a dark and empty place in our hearts and minds when it happens."
He defined 'confidence' as a feeling that conjures up thoughts such as belief, self-assurance, reliance, sureness, trust and mental toughness; and he went on to explain that it is an assuring gift, whether in ourselves or others, and it enables us to to the unexpected and even the impossible.
If someone's confidence in either themselves or others is shattered, they may never recover sufficiently to be able to operate successfully and productively in modern society; which is based on trust, which is another way of saying 'confidence in one another's integrity' as the English poet Robert South stated way back in the 17th century.
http://www.assistnews.net/Stories/2009/s09100003.htm
Recently, the Brisbane Times reported on the story of Senior Sergeant Mark Isles of Ayr in northern Queensland, a 35 year police veteran, who was a reliable man, but who was mistakenly caught up in a corruption inquiry linked to drug trafficking and the fraudulent issue of drivers' licenses.
He has never recovered from the humiliation of being arrested in front of members of his local Lions Club.
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/from-role-model-to-recluse-missing-cops-downward-spiral-20091001-gegk.html
Although he was officially cleared on September 18th, and although few people in the town or the confines of Ayr police station ever believed he had done anything wrong in the first place, the damage to his psyche was done. His son Stephen said, "Over the past 10 months I've watched him age in the face five years. He became reclusive, he was too embarrassed to show his face in public."
Senior Sergeant Mark Isles 58, eventually drove out of town, removed his uniform, dumped his police car and took off into rugged bush 80 kilometres from home and has not been seen since.
Well-Being Australia chairman Mark Tronson, a Baptist minister and cricket chaplain, who had eighteen years with the Sports and Leisure Ministry placing chaplains in Australia's professional sports, says that he has seen that 'confidence' is so often the key to going forward.
M V Tronson says that many Ministers, including himself, have been victims of Church politics. He knows from experience how one's confidence can take a beating. Because of their public persona, ministers find that so much is required to be swept under the carpet so as to maintain an image of 'forgiveness', and that sometimes this hides the necessity for open and transparent 'accountability'.
What is devastating is that he has seen, in some instances, the perpetrators who have undermined someone's confidence and devastated their professional lives, simply 'walk away'.
"Sport is also a classic example of this unseen confidence playing an astonishing important place in winning or losing," Mark Tronson says authoritatively. "Similarly, in business, how often do we hear on the business news that the market has 'lost confidence' in a particular stock; and that is the beginning of the demise of those shares?"
Bill Ellis quotes the Apostle John who encouraged believers in Jesus Christ to "have confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His coming (1 John 2:28)." Ellis stated that it is this confidence in ourselves, others and God that keeps us steady in the most difficult times.
In all the examples M V Tronson has cited, (in professions, sport, business and the church) the system permits mud-throwing, then a process is put in place to test the mud's credence. The mud-throwers assume the high ground and in so many cases their accusations are known not to be true (the politics), yet the shattered confidence of the accused brings about the result that was originally sought by the mud-throwers.
Getting back up is fraught with emotional turmoil and family heartache. M V Tronson says that he and so many others who have been damaged by their professional politics find that trusting anyone becomes a major issue in itself.
For him it has been nine years, and he is managing it with the help of others; but for others, full recovery is still a 'forlorn hope'. Mark Tronson urges anyone who has been devastated by some events that have sapped their own confidence to seek counselling.
Their pastor, or another pastor can help, or their GP can give a referral to a counsellor (now available on Medicare in Australia), or there are many hotlines and websites such as Lifeline http://www.lifeline.org.au/find_help/24_hour_counselling_service, phone 13 11 14. Beyond Blue, www.beyondblue.org.au/ where initial discussion about further consultations can be discussed completely confidentially.
It is important to seek help to regain your sense of equilibrium and be able to relate to your loved ones – they at least deserve that you try.