Recently at church, I opened my eyes, irritated by the noise, and I saw her. Praying.
I couldn't hear the words she muttered, only the sound, low and anguished as she ignored everyone, even the small child yelling and kicking her seat. I saw her lean forward, pleading with God.
My prayer was an optional time out from the world; I forgot my surroundings and talked with God but for her praying was a lifeline.
While I was easily distracted from my prayers by a child, she was in another place entirely.
Her need for God in that moment overpowered everything.
I could only imagine what drove her to that desperate prayer yet part of me was jealous.
Past glory
My connection with God used to be that intense. I remember it. Everything else paled in comparison. But, despite my best efforts, over time I became a little self-righteous, knowing I had found the best way to live.
I became caught up in daily life and my connection with God was no longer the only thing in the world. Life swelled up to fill the space while God was relegated to a corner.
In that place of altered consciousness I found I couldn't truly empathise with or enter into the struggles others faced. The most dangerous part was that I was completely unaware of it. I thought I was in the best place I could be.
When I saw that woman pray, I longed for the same intensity again.
There is something mystic when we are connected with God and we are changed by it. When we reach out for connection with him, he reaches back to us. We start to think God's thoughts with him, and see the world how he sees it, little by little our daily worries fade away.
As Jeremiah chapter 33, verse 3 says,"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
But we can become myopic, seeing only God—stripping away our ability to understand those outside of the Church. Such a myopic state can alter our behaviour and thinking so we censor the world around us.
Once I had my hand slapped by an older Christian because I was crossing my fingers, hoping that it would be sunny the next day. I was told crossing my fingers meant I wasn't properly trusting in God.
Sometimes wardrobes change; women may want to dress more modestly to demonstrate they are keeping their bodies for their husband alone.
Even our vocabulary adapts and we stand out like a sore thumb if we say how blessed we are by the "blood of the Lamb" or tell a non-Christian how "convicted" we feel.
Things like these are not necessarily bad, yet they can create a gulf between us and those around us. If we don't understand people outside of the Church, what they are going through, what their lives are like, how can we engage meaningfully with them?
If our "deep" relationship with God doesn't help them, is it really worthwhile?
The point of Christianity (as I understand it) is not to make us happy, or even better people, but to join with Jesus, to share his love.
Don't deliberately disconnect
Disconnect from the world can be deliberate and extreme, with people shutting themselves off from the world, often thinking they alone have the key to God. Take, for example, Gloriavale (an isolated religious community in New Zealand) or the Exclusive Brethren, with their decisions to separate from society.
These are extreme examples but even those of us in society sometimes don't notice we are becoming disconnected. We all know godly people who have lost the ability to act normally in non-Christian social situations, even if they vehemently deny this as (in my experience) most do.
It seems obvious, but if we are to be a positive influence (or "salt" and "light" to quote Matthew chapter 5), we need to be able to connect with and understand people who don't share our beliefs.
Conversely if we don't spend enough time with God we will drift so far away that all points of difference between us and the world vanish—and once again we won't have a positive impact on the world.
Balancing the world and God
We need connection in order to be effective in our chosen role. There might be times of extremes (when we first find God and are overwhelmed by him for example) but as we move forward to be effective we Christians must keep balance, holding each world in equal tension.
Because it's so easy to end up unbalanced without realising, I have decided to ask the following questions regularly:
I will ask a non-churched friend:
- Am I getting weird with my Christianity?
- Could I embarrass you in front of your friends?
- What do I do or say that might alienate people around me?
I will ask God:
- Am I connected to your heart and thoughts?
- How can I be more connected?
- Am I behaving in a way that is appropriate as a representative of yours?
Feedback gives a different perspective and helps us see more clearly. Self-awareness is crucial.
By doing our best to stay connected to both God and people, we are mirroring Jesus. We see in the Bible that he was incredibly connected to people and understood them deeply, while also remaining completely connected to God.
There is no one better to mimic.
Kara Greening trained in biology, works in chemistry and wonders about the physics of the TARDIS. She is passionate about exploring her faith and being wholehearted in life. She lives with her husband. They have no human children but do have a cat named Sampson. Sampson was recently fat-shamed by the vet.
Kara Greening's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/kara-greening.html