Tony Payne states: “Scratch the surface a little, and you’ll find that many men worry about how they are doing as a father. So what they really want is to know that they’re doing a good job, as many of them suspect that they aren’t. This anxiety is made worse by a couple of very contemporary problems.”
He stated: “First, most men in our culture find themselves separated from their children for much of their waking lives. Even those of us who stay married don’t see all that much of our kids, let alone those unfortunate enough to go through separation and divorce. In human history it hasn’t always been like this. But the fact that it is like this now makes fatherhood even tougher.” He continuned saying: “But the second problem is that, after the feminist revolution of the last 30 years, no-one’s exactly sure these days what a father is, and what he should do.”
These problems compelled Tony Payne to write the book ‘Fatherhood: what it is and what it’s for’ where: “Once we start to get a better vision of what fatherhood is all about and the job that God has given us to do, then we can start to work out some of the life/work balance issues that mean we can plan for more time with the kids and how we are going to spend it with them.
Hardly anyone is going take the risk of telling their boss they want to work less hours, just on the vague feeling that they should be spending more time with their family. But if you have a firm grasp of the vital job God has given you and what it should look like in practice, well it’s going to shape the way you spend your time and the way you act each day in a thousand different ways. It will make you a better father.”
Tony Payne is also speaking at the ‘Fatherhood’ seminar at Covenant Christian School in Belrose which was recently attended by 200 men who had forsaken the lounge after eight o clock to know how they can win the fight to be fathers. The event was part of a series of parent development seminars organised by the school.
Principal Tom Deencik says: “The majority aren’t from the school community, they have come through contact with churches, through advertising, from all over Sydney.”
Tony Payne stated in the seminar: “Fathers are the senior partner in life-giving as far as the bible is concerned.” In his address the message contain the biblical significance of responsibility and authority where: “You have the final say – and you use that final say to care for your wife and children. That’s what the bible says.”
He sounded a warning saying this not a licence for self-indulgence. He said: “If fatherhood was a gymnastics event, I’d probably score well on friendliness and involvement. I’d score less well on discipline and faithfulness in teaching,” he says ruefully. You never graduate from this school, but if you can make progress, that’s good.”
The book (in either print or audio form) is available through Matthias Media and all Christian bookstores.