Community is an, if not the central, idea of church—a group of believers coming together with one another to celebrate God. Another way that most people describe it is “fellowship.” Whilst my family lived overseas, the community around us were an integral apart of our work and growth. Our team became like a family and other NGO workers became our church family.
On a weekly basis we would rotate from house to house for a service. Someone would bring a guitar for worship, people would take turns preaching, and after the service there was usually a potluck of some description.
It was in some ways unorthodox in that we were all from different parts of the world and denominations, we didn’t have a set church building, and there was an ever-present concern of security. Nevertheless, it became home.
The comfort of community
With the constant moving back and forth between countries and moving around for conferences, the knowledge that we would be going back to our little church community in Herat was a comfort. It was where I made some of my first friends, lost my first tooth and truly was aware of God’s presence.
One of my favourite parts of the year was during Easter, we would go into the mountains for a picnic and service; it was in those moments that Afghanistan felt truly like home and that was because of the people around us. Saying goodbye in early 2009 was the hardest thing my family and I have ever had to do, almost harder for parents than the decision to move there in the first part.
My dad has often reminisced about my reaction to moving and I remember it quite vividly. Here is an excerpt from his Last Communication letter written to our supporters: “How are you feeling Hope? With moving and everything?” I said a week ago. “Oh...I feel angry, sad, excited...” she replied. What a crazy period it has been as we embark on a journey away from our home. What? you may say. Home? Isn't that where you're hoping to go back to? No... how can I explain?”
Just not the same
It was true, I felt angry and sad to leave my friends, my school, our team, our homemade family, but I was also excited to make new friends, to see my American and Australian family, to go to a new school, but I wasn’t excited about Church. Church in Afghanistan, while having a similar structure to most western churches, had community whereas America and particularly Australia, didn’t. When we finally moved to Australia my relationship with God and church fractured. It wasn’t the same.
What I had in Afghanistan was closeness and friendship, whereas in Australia I was one of the only girls my age in the Church and I was frustrated still by our move away from familiarity. I was a shy and timid American girl with a funny accent who was scared to step out of my comfort zone.
I felt like an alien; I didn’t understand pop culture references, I didn’t listen to the same music and people didn’t always understand me and my experience, which is was fair enough. Needless to say, I grew. I learned to adjust, and I made friends at school but never truly repaired my relationship with church. I disliked going and when it came time to go to youth group, I was terrified.
The feeling of disconnect
I eventually formed friendships with a few girls from church but there was still a disconnect. Partly was because my parents stopped going to my church and have only just recently decided to go to a Vineyard church in our local area, so I didn’t have my immediate family around me.
The other reason was while during some of the toughest years of my life in high school, youth group became a safe place for me—authentic community and the sense of family I had experienced in Herat wasn’t there. Maybe, it was because I wasn’t involved enough, or I didn’t put myself out there. Despite having gone since I was nine, been a leader in kids church since I was 13 and gone to youth group throughout high school, I felt exactly same, the new kid.
The process of adjustment
Something I’ve been learning through the continual process of adjustment is that community and fellowship in Christ doesn’t have to consist of a room full of 300 people with a speaker on a stage and a fancy band with stage lights and a smoke machine. While there is by no means anything wrong with that, if you find God in that and have people around you supporting you in your journey, of course by all means keep doing what you’re doing and more power to you for being reached in that way.
For me, however, I have learned I don’t connect in that way, I don’t mind going to churches like that, but sensationalized Christianity doesn’t sit well with me. I look back to Matthew 18:20 (NIV): “For where there are two or three gathered in my name, there I am with them.”
We need churches and we need to sew into churches, but when those of us in the pews feel unwelcome, there needs to be a shift in priority, one towards community. This of course isn’t true of all churches, but there seems to be a minute focus on bringing in new people.
Focus on new people
This is an amazing endeavor but once we get them through the door, what happens? Are we going to say hi once and go back to our established groups or are we going to form relationships with them, get to know them and start to grow their relationship with God? We can tell people about God’s love all we want, but unless we make an active effort to walk out his love, it becomes an empty promise.
Perhaps these sentiments come only from someone with an outlandish experience, but I hope they are considered. I am searching for my community and I hope that one day I will find it and that you find yours as well.
Hope Pratt is an American Australian starting my first year at University. My family and I lived in Afghanistan for 6 years before moving to Australia. I am currently living in Sydney, which has been my longest home yet.