Other days, you just want to curl up in a corner and pretend that you "were dead at the time". I am a bit of a see-saw at work and I am pretty convinced that I am not the only one.
The fact of the matter is...Work has been a multi-layered and complex experience for me. The journey of discovering what and who I am within the workplace is not over yet. At various times in work, I have felt intensely vulnerable and been made aware of my short-comings.
Getting a job has never been a problem, thriving in that job has been hard.
Once again, I have been challenged, by God to think differently. My new job involves working in a team of people, in a large corporation. It is, frankly a place where you are on show.
We have been really, really busy over the past few days and my manager has been away. I have had to step up again in my journey with God. I have had to bust a gut and work hard to keep up, but always feeling as though I have never quite made the mark.
God gives me this constant reminder that I am in battle and in the midst of a fight. I am transformed into a warrior and I carry a sword. I fight and flex my muscles. I cry out as I kill in the spirit every negative thought that crosses my mind and I become a dangerous and deadly slayer - with a mean set of heels!
Do we teach people to fight? Do we teach people to pro-actively accept that there is a spiritual realm and that the supposed fantasy of "demons" and "demonic" spirits is a reality far more powerful than what we experience on earth. Becoming a Christian has a not too dissimilar "MATRIX" theme... do you take the blue pill or the red pill?
There is a wonderful secondary plot line in The Lord of the Rings, where an old king is gradually poisoned by a servant who works for the dark Lord. But Aragorn, the true King of Gondor travels with Gandalf; a wizard and breaks the power of the spell.
As a test of whether the king is healed, Gandalf says to Theoden that his hands would remember his strength, "if they held a sword". As soon as he is restored, he is returned to battle, to fight for his kingdom and kin.
In the same way, I feel that, at times, my sleep-fullness has had to be broken by God. My mind has been poisoned, but the good news is that God has broken the spell.
My test, is whether I believe and can "hold my sword".
The battle waged against the enemy is not just for those that have a predilection for black/white, good/evil plot lines or those who like simplistic ways with which to view the world. We are all engaged, all called and all equipped to fight.
The personal battle I faced, on those days when my boss was away, was quite intense. I felt tired and spiritually drained. But I was conscious that as a sword-bearer and warrior, I was called to fight and give no ground to the enemy.
I found it hard on occasion, but I knew that my God was worth fighting for and that the territory God had won for me was worth defending.
So I call us all, to cry out with loud voices. To defend and increase our territory; to dust off our swords and start to use them; to be victorious.
Rosie Robinson resides in Manchester where, in between feeding herself coffee and bagels she works for an international custodian bank, called BNY Mellon. Rosie attends a lively church called Audacious, enjoys reading, running and watching films and is currently on a trek with Jesus; discovering slowly but surely, all that life has to offer. And she has decided that she has the coolest big sister on the planet! (fellow young writer Amanda living in New Zealand).
Rosie Robinson's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/rosie-robinson.html