In Matthew 6 verses 14-15, Jesus tells us that if we forgive men when they sin against us, our heavenly Father will also forgive us of our sins. But if we do not forgive, our Father will not forgive our sins. With this in mind, how do we go about learning to forgive one another? How much or how often should we forgive? How do we resist the inclination to want to get even?
How much or how often should we forgive?
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18 verses 21-35) provides a perfect example of how we should forgive. When Peter asked Jesus how often he should forgive his brother when he sinned against him, Jesus said seventy times seven. In other words, continually forgive your brother – there isn't a defined limit. Just as God forgives us when we sin against Him, we too should continually forgive from our hearts. But the result of the unwillingness to forgive is that God will not forgive us either.
Sometimes we may even find it more difficult to forgive those that are close to us, than those we hardly know or vice versa. Or we may even define which wrong is worth forgiving and which is not. But should forgiveness be selective? Do we show favouritism when we choose to forgive some but not others? Did Jesus die on the cross for the sins of a select few or was it for everyone?
How do we resist the inclination to want to get even?
I believe that one way that can help us overcome our evil inclination is through fervent prayer. Forgiving doesn't mean that we excuse the hurtful behaviour or deny it all altogether. We acknowledge the wrong that was done, but we also need to let go and not allow the anger towards the person to take a hold of our lives. Not only should we ask the Holy Spirit to help us let go of the hurt, but as hard as it may be, I have come to learn that we also need to pray for those that have done us wrong. God asks us to bless those who curse us, and pray for those who mistreat us (Luke 6:28). It is amazing how powerful prayer can be.
Furthermore, we are advised to make sure we do not pay anyone wrong for wrong, but we are always to try to be kind to each other and to everyone else (1 Thessalonians 5 verse 15). We need to respond in a way that will show love and not aim to retaliate. We need to get rid of all bitterness lest it causes us to sin. Why give the devil a foothold?
Why should we forgive?
There is a sense of freedom and peace that comes with forgiveness.
Sometime ago, a friend did something very hurtful. They repeatedly tried to call me to apologise and I had chosen to completely ignore their calls. I felt so hurt by what they had said and done that I didn't want to speak to them again. Many weeks went by until one day I decided to answer their call. The first thing they asked was if I could ever forgive them for what they had done. I came to realize that all they wanted was to hear they were forgiven.
Being unforgiving is not anything to be proud of. As I read the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, I was convicted. It reminded me of the unconditional love that God has for us. God loves us so much that he sent His one and only son to die for our sins. We serve a God that is full of grace, mercy and compassion. If God is able to forgive me each time I make a mistake and repent, shouldn't I do the same for others?
It may not be easy to forgive. It takes the strength given to us by God to truly be able to forgive. But as I reflect upon the cross and think how merciful God is, I pray that the Lord can teach me to continually forgive others as He has forgiven me.
Kandima Awendila was born in ambique and lives and works as an IT Service
Desk Engineer on the Gold Coast.
Kandi Awendila's archive of articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/kandima-awendila.html