Reflecting on the lessons I have learnt from this ongoing season of change needs little introduction. I want to acknowledge the privileged position I have in seeing this time as one for reflection and growth. I am aware so many other people suffer loss and the consequences ofthese losses will continue to be felt for some time.
Lesson 1: See that I need God
When every ‘normal’ part of my life is taken away, what do I have? I have God, our Maker, our Redeemer, the One who loves me always. I cannot rely on my busyness and my social interactions to dictate my identity and worth. It is clear I need God.
During this season I am spending more time reading my Bible, journaling, and discovering more of God’s character. I am learning that I really need God and I need to unpack and take hold of that need.
When I don’t spend time in the Word, or yielding to His sovereignty, I unravel a little. I’m not my whole self, and I’m not living life to its fullest (John chapter 10, verse 10).
It is more than simply enjoying our God-given lives in all their beauty. I was recently talking with a friend, and she shared something so very wisely: we often love the manifestation of God’s beauty and his power, not God Himself—this is a bit of a problem.
Lesson 2: Love God, Himself
This lesson, I imagine, will be ongoing. What a challenge it is to love a Being I cannot see and usually cannot audibly hear. Even though the works of His hands, the beauty of Creation, the power, miracles, and healing done by His name are easy to see, they are not the whole story. They are not fully satisfying.
I need to know God Himself, love Him for who He is. Just as I know and love my boyfriend, my parents, my gorgeous little nephew, my close friends, I must know God this way (and more so).
I live near the beach in Auckland, New Zealand. I’m absolutely surrounded by the beauty of creation. On my walks around my neighborhood, I thank God for the artwork before my eyes. But it is not enough—if I don’t know God, how can I trust Him.
Lesson 3: Yield to God
I must admit in some aspects of my life I can be a bit of a control freak, an over thinker, a worrier. I don’t really need to unpack how that can cause a lot of stress and be overwhelming. But, I do want to highlight that it is clearly not the best way to live.
Learning more about who God is reveals to me that I can trust Him. He is loyal, strong, generous, redeeming and, above all, loving. When I know these things about God, it becomes clear that I can trust Him, that I can put my hope in Him.
More than that, I can give over and yield to God my worries, my fears, my insecurities. All the questions I don’t have answers to yet, and all the situations where I can’t see a clear path. My life is not improved by holding onto these things that I often can do nothing about.
The One who loves me always, who redeemed me through His Son’s defeat of death, He can deal with these things. I can receive His peace and be comforted by the Holy Spirit dwelling within me. Even when I don’t understand what God might do, even when I don’t feel or see Him working, I can and must trust that He will see me through this.
His will may not always be what I imagined, but God’s thoughts and ways are higher than our thoughts and ways (Isaiah chapter 55, verse 9). We have to trust Him with all our heart, and not lean on our own understanding (Proverbs chapter 3, verse 5).
Obviously, as humans we are sinful, emotional, often unforgiving and limited in our ability to understand circumstances objectively and comprehensively. But God, all-knowing, Creator, He knows.
I can trust Him, and I don’t have to worry. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. But if I want anything in life, it is to do life with God. To trust Him with my fears and insecurities, to know He loves me regardless.
These are lessons that I am still learning. I need to see my need for Goddaily. I need to love Him for Himself. I need to yield control over to God and trust in His Might.
I need to live life with God.