That was ten years ago, since then God has slowly, patiently and graciously rebuilt my life, family and faith. Why have I taken the time to write all these personal details? Well the worryingly I see many ministers walking down the same destructive road as I travelled; I see some of them being over stretched to breaking point, on the verge of 'Ministerial Meltdown'.
Why do Ministers Meltdown or Burn-out?
All of us, clergy included, live in this hurry up world. We are all prone to what Jeff Lucas calls 'quickoholism'. We find ourselves almost addicted to tearing along from one task to the next, from one ecclesiastical appointment to the next. John Ortberg talks about what he calls the 'honkosecond', that is the time it takes for some one behind us to honk their car horn after the lights have turned green. Everyone it seems is in a hurry to get somewhere! We in the West are all part of this 'hurry sick world', but is there a special case that can be made for members of the Clergy in relation to stress? Dr Gary Collins thinks there is, he argues the case for a particular form of stress which he simply calls 'religious stress'. I believe that alongside the common stressors that are experienced by everyone, there is also a form of 'di-stress' especially related to those involved in pastoral ministry.
C H Spurgeon and Ministerial Stress
The great Victorian Baptist preacher C H Spurgeon was another who believed that there is a type of stress that is specifically related to pastoral ministry. He demonstrates this by including an entire chapter focussing on 'ministerial stress' entitled, 'The Ministers Fainting Fits' in his book Lectures to my Students. The great man candidly tells how he suffered from prolonged attacks of depression, sometimes so great that he had to leave his pastorate in London to escape to a resting place in France.
Underlying causes of Ministerial Meltdown
In the 1990's, when I was Director of The Open Learning Centre at Oak Hill Theological, I wrote a journal article based on some research I had done at Westminster College, Oxford for the Anglican academic publication, The Churchman. It was entitled, 'Clergy Stress, Causes and Suggested Coping Strategies', there I noted a world-wide church phenomenon of men and women abandoning ministry because of stress and burnout. The problem has by no means decreased – if anything it is becoming more prevalent.
I have several reasons why I think Clergy tend to experience stress that can so easily morph into its unhelpful cousins, 'di-stress', 'depression', 'Meltdown' or 'Burn-Out'. A number of these can be illustrated from my own experience. This isn't an exclusive list by any means.
The Sisyphus Complex
Ministers can suffer from what has been called 'The Sisyphus Complex'. In Greek mythology it was Sisyphus' fate to push a great stone up a mountain only to have it fall down just before he reached the top. This problem within all the caring professions, we are called to a task that we can never quite complete. Clergy face a continuous onslaught of 'ministry'; this includes services, holy-day celebration, sick people to visit, wise counsel to dispense and sermons to write. We can never quite put at the end of our ministerial 'to do' list – DONE.
Unrealistic Expectations
There are also 'unrealistic expectations' on the part of both the clergy and the congregation, about 'what a minister is supposed to do' and how many hours a minister is expected to work. Having a number of churches to 'take care of' is setting most ministers up for a sense of failure. You can only juggle so many balls in the air – you can only keep so many plates spinning atop of poles. Also, too often Ministers are prone to what Charles Hummel calls 'the tyranny of the urgent'. They feel pressurised by a variety of situations, all of which appear to appear to be urgent and demanding their immediate attention.
Carping Criticism
Some Clergy can to suffer from a constant barrage of criticism. I personally have been criticised by congregations about almost every aspect of my life and ministry: from the length of my hair – when I was young, to my sermons being too intellectual or not deep enough, for wearing a clerical collar or not wearing one, for using too much humour in my sermons or being too serious, for driving a new car and having a new home, to driving an old car and living in social housing. The list can go on and on. Infuriatingly, the criticisms that Ministers suffer are most often 'majoring on the minors', focussing on non- essentials. After all, the length or colour of my hair will not significantly impact they way I engage in ministry, now will it? Like the author and speaker Jeff Lucas, I sometimes wish that the Bible included the verse, 'Thus says the Lord, "Lighten up a bit"!' In my opinion, this verse should be committed to memory by every member of every congregation. However, thinking about it a little bit more, maybe those of us who are members of the clergy ought to 'lighten up' a bit too. Sometimes we take ourselves a bit too seriously; we are sometimes overly sensitive to negative comments. We need to remember that not every criticism is to be taken personally.
Clinging Vines
Clergy can also be worn down by having to working with difficult people and 'clinging vines'. The work of ministry can continue with the same difficult people year after year. These can be people who constantly criticise everything the pastor does, or they can be people who act as 'clinging –vines', always needing attention and sapping energy out of the Minister. One discouraged pastor said that the 'trouble makers' never seem to leave and the helpful, cooperative people never seem to stay'.
Toxic Confidences
Ministers are also expected to carry what could be called 'toxic confidences'. In their role as pastoral counsellors they are bound to hear the most personal, intimate and disturbing details from some of the members of their congregation. Because this information is often given 'in confidence' there is no opportunity for the minister to off load this information onto anyone else, not even their spouse. If this information is of a distressing nature, it can just sit their like toxic waste and slowly seep into the pastor's soul sometimes wreaking havoc, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Living in the Gold-fish bowl
It has been said that a minister's family often lives in what is termed a 'gold-fish bowl'. They live out their lives in the public eye of the congregation. Some congregations seem to know more about what happens in the minister's home than the minister does! Clergy can become the characters of what appears to be an ecclesiastical 'Soap Opera'. Everybody knows what is going on in the minister's family and everyone is talking about it. The Clergy and their family are also considered by some congregations to be 'the Holy Family'. The perception is often that his/her marriage has to appear 'perfect'. Even their children can come under close scrutiny as to their behaviour, their dress, their attendance at church etc. Privacy seems to be a right that some clergy have given up when they were ordained. When you have no 'private space' in your life it can be extremely stressful.
Next in the series: Ministerial Meltdown Part II - 'The Tell-Tale symptoms of Ministerial Meltdown and Burnout'
The author Dr Alan Palmer is Head of Religious Studies and Head of Scholars and Oxbridge at Culford School. He would welcome feedback from readers. He can be contacted at Apalmer@culford.co.uk