I believe society embraces sexual intimacy within marriage, and I question whether society understands the holistic roles of a husband and wife outside of the bedroom?
While sex is an important part of this unique bond between man and woman, there are many other aspects that need to be considered in pursuit of a great marriage.
In his letter to the church of Ephesus, Paul gives clear direction about roles within marriage and I think these remain relevant today. While this teaching may appear one sided at a first glance, looking deeper I see some extremely challenging ideas presented to us, especially to men.
Paul uses the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church to create a picture for his audience that we can easily relate to. He begins by commanding women to submit to their husbands in everything, as they would to God, for the husband is to lead his wife as Christ leads the Church. Ephesians 5:22-24
Out of context these verses are potentially very dangerous for a marriage, so we should not just look at the surface of this text. Reading through the remainder of Ephesians chapter 5 gives us greater understanding of the freedom and empowering a woman will receive as she submits to her husband.
This freedom and empowering stems from Paul's strong call for husbands to respond in love to their wives. The command to love is a sacrificial, selfless, serving and sanctifying act. In fact, it's an act of giving ourselves up as Christ did for His bride, the Church. Eph 5:25
Sacrificially and selflessly husbands are to give themselves to their wives. We are to die to our fleshly desires, willingly laying down our own ambitions or sacrificing our boat, big television or golf game to put our wife first.
Serving our wife should come from a motivation of love. Eph 5:28-29 says we must love our wives as our own bodies, caring and feeding them just as we look after ourselves. One small step I have taken to serve my wife, as myself, is to ask her if she wants something to eat or drink if I am going to get one for myself. The simple reasoning in this question is that if my body wants something then her body may also enjoy the same thing.
To sanctify our wife is to lead them spiritually, to protect them from impurity and encourage and challenge them to Christ. I believe leading spiritually is to be an example to my wife through my personal relationship with the Lord, to lovingly confront her when her actions or words do not line up with the word of God and to pray for and speak words of truth into her life.
The life of Jesus was sacrificial, servant hearted, selfless and sanctifying but also filled with great accomplishments and everlasting influence. I think that if a couple embraces and lives out these principles from Ephesians their union will be powerful and loving. As Jesus and His bride bring hope and joy into this world so too will a wife who submits and a husband who loves.