And I am a person who at the moment seems to be choosing to live in a state of bad attitude. I can say that because now I've actually had the self-revelation that I am nurturing this negative attitude, it is casting light on why things in my life have seemed to spiral into negativity recently.
So when God has a plan for our life, and we start to follow it, we can still have a negative attitude in actually living it out. And we often expect it to be easy and get the Godly gold medal for obedience – and when things are tough in the place God has brought us to, we can end up in a sulk. We behave like we are the spoilt child who'd rather be anywhere else other than that place. We can start to speak and think negatively when things don't go to our plan.
Sometimes I wonder if God throws all his toys out of the pram just as we do... Does God ever sigh and wonder why we are behaving like we are when you asked for his plan for our lives to become evident... And then when his will is aligned for our life, we behave like it's the last place in the world we'd rather be.
And so instead of looking to God to be our hope and provide us with enough strength for whatever we are doing, we start the nit picking.
Instead of pushing negative thoughts away instantly, we let them have their time developing. And soon, those negative thoughts start to rule our attitude, and our thoughts become our words and our words our actions. And we stop guarding our heart and these thoughts words and actions become our response to others, our relationships, church and other Christians, the direction God is taking us – and to God himself.
Picking up on all the small things, we never let anything go – instead we choose to focus on every negative, minute detail and let it seep into our heart. It might be sharing with friends what text messages say, or deciding to reveal only the bad side of a situation rather than anything good - or we are just ready to share everything with anyone that will listen. And invite them to speak into our lives and hearts with little opinions. And we hold onto their little thoughts – even from people we don't value or let invest in our lives, but instead we let their feedback fuel our fire in a self-gratifying self-flagellation. Is this really how God intended for us to be in our situation? Our closed hearts feel cross that we feel like that but we don't in any way help ourselves.
Now Steph is still pretty realistic in life. She's not the Iron Lady with no personality and a fake fixed smile, pretending that everything is OK. The difference with Steph is that she will openly admit that things are hard – but then she chooses to respond to what is happening in hope rejecting the idea of letting her situation rule her, and crushing her spirit. She will commit the situation to God. She will identify the fact that things are tough, recognising that this might be a spiritual attack because she's living within the will of God. And she'll quickly identify a bad attitude and move on, speaking words of affirmation and positivity over her own life and situation.
Some tips
So here are my tips/challenges (to myself) and moving from the pool of negativity out into the open space of positivity in a way that I can actually manage. Even though a situation might not change, my response to it can. And who knows – maybe my change of response may alter my situation.
1. Look at the position you are in and work out what your current response is. Why are you behaving like this? Do you always tend to react in this way?
2. Ask God to give you some clarity in your response to the situation. Ask him for your words to bring life. Pray about the situation rather than complain and moan (you can still be real with it). Ask for a good attitude despite your situation. Might seem obvious but I so often forget this because I'm stuck in my own little absorbed world about the issues.
3. Get perspective – is it worth getting annoyed over? Is your anger and frustration worth a breakdown of relationship or rejecting a god given situation?
4. Identify the people around you who's opinion you trust and value. Only talk to them about your situation rather than anyone who will listen.
5. Avoid downloading everything – focus on the pieces that matter, rather than the small – otherwise you will end up doing your own head in by constantly thinking about all the millions of details.
6. Don't let other people's negativity rub off on you – surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up in your situation rather than encouraging negativity and a bad attitude.
7. Be open to friends calling you up on it – find a friend/relative who will put it into perspective and tell you straight.
8. Focus on God's words for your life – 'Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?' Matthew 6:27 – and speak them over your situation.
9. Actually pray! Don't get lost in endless podcasts and books, thinking that other people's revelations will also be yours. I have a bad habit of getting over obsessed with endless podcasts and while they are helpful, they don't actually stand in for the word of God.
10. Be kind to yourself – no-one gets this right all the time – identify, deal with it, move on!
Originally from The Lake District in the UK, Amanda works in Publishing in Auckland and is passionate about seeing Christians bring salt and light into the media, arts and creative industries. She is also working on fighting her FOMO and doing less. Amanda wrote this article from London when on holidays.
Amanda Robinson's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/amanda-robinson.html