Most often when people ask, "How are you going?" they tend to get the standard responses, "Fine thanks" or "Good, how are you?" Blokes particularly will avoid digging up the struggles they are facing when asked about their lives. In my own experience I have wanted to appear like I had it together, that I was the strong leader of my family, of my life. At other times I have doubted whether anyone cared enough to really listen.
Blokes, we tend to fear the weakness of sharing our battles. There is a vulnerability that comes with admitting that I can't do this alone. I can't be strong right now. What will the world think of me if I have bottomed out? Will I be accepted and listened to? Or judged and discarded? I have felt all of these things over the years. The enemy has tried his hardest to isolate me from any kind of support and keep me trapped in doubt and fear. I have tried ignoring my battles, drowning them with alcohol, blaming God for them and doing whatever I could to run from facing them head on.
Just recently I was faced with another battle. We had moved interstate and left all of our old friends and support structures. I felt alone, used up and very, very tired.
But God brought people back into my life that I had left in Queensland. Men in my shed. Men that knew the meaning of getting to the guts of a situation and getting it off your chest. Proverbs 27 verses 17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". These men were willing to listen to me and sharpen me, but also be sharpened themselves by being part of my story.
These men, some I had known for many years, some I had just met for the first time were prepared to invest in me, learn from my experience, and open themselves up to me in a way that brought us all courage, strength and renewed hope. There was no preaching or giving advice in the two days we spent on the road, just acceptance that we all face battles in life and that men need each other to get through.
That is the essence of Shed. Shed nights are happening all over Australia and men are coming together to hear and share the battles of life on a regular basis. They have been finding great courage in not only sharing the battles, but also in listening to them and asking the questions that go deeper. A courage that men have been missing. A courage that men have needed from within themselves and from each other.
They are discovering a camaraderie, a brotherhood, a bond in being there for each other in the highs and the lows of life. They are learning, many for the first time, what it truly means to be a man.
Whether it's at an organised "Shed Night", on a road trip or over a coffee, Aussie blokes are realising that we need "…to spill our guts and drop off our masks so that we can become the real deal before the 'Big Fella' in the safe place of the Shed with the 'men of the village'.
These blokes will help us be free from fear and guilt big time and the healing process can begin." (shednight.com)
To find a shed in your area, or get the support to start one go to the Shed Night website shednight.com
Russell Croft has a heart for community and reaching out to the marginalised and forgotten. He is currently studying a Diploma of Youth Work with Praxis Melbourne and living the journey of faith with his family in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne, Australia.
Russell and his wife Belinda Croft's articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/belinda-croft.html