1. TIME
(Deut 6:7)"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."
The emphasis on TIME in this passage is unmistakably clear. A highly effective father realizes the value of time .To him It is no mystery that his children spell love not L.O.V.E but T.I.M.E. So then he doesn't waste precious time on trivial things, rather invest quality time with them, and builds happy memories. With the respect and support of his gentle and gracious helpmeet, he makes family time fun time. An often repeated expression, honest fathers, reflecting on the past, would say:" if I had life over again I would spend a lot more time than I did with my children, they grow up so fast and before you know it they are adults". A highly effective father also takes time to LEAD his children to CHRIST and makes time to PRAY for their spiritual growth.
2. THINKING TOGETHER
(Eph 6:4) "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
A highly effective father is very careful not to over-correct, irritate, exasperate or rouse his children to resentment, but rather he nurtures them with Christian discipline, instruction and correction, the sort of education and counsel the Lord approves. He shares his heart with involvement and interaction .He shapes their value system in dialogue with them as they process life together. He looks out for teachable moments and instills in his dear-to-his-heart children principles (especially after experiencing failure , loss or rejection).
3. TALKING
1 Thess. 2:3&5 "For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile:… For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloak of covetousness; God is witness:"
A highly effective father understands the power of words. Especially uplifting and motivating words .He employs the right words (without flattering) in the right way (without impure motives) e.g "I am sorry…..Please forgive me…..Thank you…..I love you….I appreciate you…..I thank God for you….Well done…Wow….Good for you…Good on you…I'm really .pleased with you …I'm just so proud of you… I love your excellent spirit that's great….Let me pray for you right now…. Let me see if I understand you correctly…is this making sensing to you…is this a good time to talk…Thank you and GOD bless you…I was thinking of you today…You were on my heart…etc…."
4. TEACHING
(Deut 4:10) … and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children."
A highly effective father teaches his children to stand in awe of GOD, to revere and fear Him as long as they live. He just doesn't send them to church but he TAKES them there himself. Even though he delegates his authority by enlisting and appreciating the help of his local church and Christian school, however a highly effective father accepts that the responsibility to teach the Word of God lies with him. Primarily
5. TRAINING
(Prov 22:6) "Train up a child in the way he should go:…
A highly effective father gives his children instructions about the way and in the direction of the duty; to educate according to life requirements. A highly effective father focuses on helping his children to discover, dedicate and develop their strengths, talents, skills and spiritual gifts
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6. TRIED AND TESTED DISCIPLINE
(Prov 22:15) "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
A highly effective father trusts God's word over men's sentiments in regard to discipline. He knows that the foolish ways are deep seated and bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline, punishment, instruction and chastisement will drive it far from him and will rid him of it. However highly effective fathers draw the line scripturally and sensibly then discipline fairly and firmly.
7. TAKE CARE
(Eph 6:4) "… bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
A highly effective father is generous, affectionate and take care well of his children. He provides them with an environment of constant verbal support. He appreciates the wisdom that he needs first to Affirm before and as well as Be firm. He allows room for failure. His children know and feel that they are loved, accepted and valued unconditionally, not for what they will become one day but for who they are right now.
8. TESTIMONY
(Deut 4:9) "Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently…: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons;"
Finally A highly effective father takes utmost care and watch himself well and scrupulously. He accepts that it is unreasonable to expect his children to listen to his advice and ignore his example. He knows that he cannot lift his children to a higher level than that on which he lives himself
IN CLOSING- I trust that the above 8 principles from God's word will find their way into your heart and mind. I pray that as you apply them faithfully, and they become daily habits in your life, you too become a highly effective father who reaps great fruits in due seasons.
Peter Rahme
Pastor – Inner West Baptist Church
www.innerwestbaptist.org.au