In the society we live in, it seems a natural process to say one thing and do another. Our 'yes' no longer constitutes a trustworthy statement and a handshake is a traditional gesture without substance.
While this may appear to be, and is generally now accepted as, a common trait of our modern society, the Word of God teaches a different standard. For those confessing a love for Christ, our verbal agreements must be upheld, just as our Almighty God and creator fulfils every promise He has made.
Let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no (James chapter 5, verse 12). It's that simple. Not easy, but simple. James tells us in this letter we need to be trustworthy and filled with integrity, ensuring any verbal agreement we make is followed with aligned action.
Sadly, it appears the value of one's word no longer holds any weight, even for Christians. Hence, I struggle to trust people's verbal commitments because of their past track record. Maybe, some of these commitments seem insignificant, such as: agreeing to participate in an activity or coming to look at an item for sale. However, when one can't be trusted in small issues, why should they be trusted on bigger issues of commitment?
The cost of breaking our word
Consider the impact of breaking verbal commitments with your children? A track record of saying you'll do one thing and then not following through, will quickly teach them not to trust your word and may create resentment and bitterness that will shape your future relationship.
Furthermore, the witness we offer to the world can be tainted by not keeping our word. For it is through Christ-honouring words and actions that we gain a reputation with non-believers that will point them to the Lord. Gaining the trust and earning the respect of others by keeping our word will provide a much better witness to non-Christians than a gospel presentation (although this remains essential) backed up with broken commitments.
Possibly the most significant of all broken contracts in this world is divorce. An institution created by God from the beginning of humanity and continued through the generations, marriage is a vow to a spouse before God, friends and family. However, this vow, even in Christian marriages, has been belittled to hold no weight when things get tough.
Marriage is not easy, but it is a commitment we make to God and therefore we must stand by our promise to love our spouse 'until death do us part'. Also, marriage is a symbol and a testimony of God's love and of unity within the Trinity. Just as God the Father offered up His Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for our sin, we too should express sacrificial love and unearned forgiveness to our spouse.
Breaking the marriage covenant and the vows we have made in the most intimate relationship between humans is a terrible witness to those outside the Church. Besides divorce being a sin, it also negatively impacts on the testimony to others about the power of God's grace and the perfect union of God in three persons.
Practical ways to keep our word
Given the obligation Christians have to the Lord and therefore to keep their word, it is important to be extremely careful of what words we say. Don't be quick to say yes, without weighing up the potential cost involved in a commitment.
Use the words 'maybe' and 'possibly' as alternatives to a binding 'yes'. I use these words daily with my children because my children hold such an important value to the words 'yes, we will do...'
While it's still essential that we do complete some of the activities I say we may do, my use of words don't bind me to fulfil any obligations. This earns the trust and respect of my children, who are also being taught the value of these words in their own life.
Don't make promises, pinky promises or any other. Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no.
If you do commit to something and aren't able to fulfil the obligation, apologise sincerely to the party involved and attempt to set another time to complete the task. While situations and circumstances will sometimes arise out of the blue and may mess with our plans, we have a right to request patience and forgiveness when this happens. However, be careful you don't make a habit of saying 'yes' to something and not following through when and how you said you would, because of 'unexpected emergiences'.
The reward for keeping our word
King David in one of his psalms says those who shall dwell with the Lord are those "who swear to his own hurt and does not change..." (Psalm 15, verse 4). This means if we make a commitment and later realise it is going to be very costly (time, money etc.) we must not back out or try to wriggle our way around the agreement.
We live in a society of distrust and legal battles, a world where one's word holds no weight. The Word of God, however, requires a different standard, and living this out among a crooked and perverse generation will become a testimony to those around us—an integrity and honesty shaped by the Lord.
Tim Wilson is an Australian currently living in Canada with his wife (also a comment writer) and their three children. He is passionate about the Church living according to the Word of God and authors a blog to inspire and challenge men and women of faith. www.abrokenmanblog.com
Tim Wilson's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/tim-wilson.html