The current Australian policy, which he greatly applauds, is to facilitate care at home are for as long as possible. This not only is very affirming and positive for the elderly, it provides a huge saving to the Government coffers.
There are also effective 'half-way house' provisions that can also be made. Older people realise before it is too late that it's time to downsize, can relocate into a wide range of self-managed or serviced retirement facilities.
"A good friend of Well-Being Australia, a widow, with the caring assistance of her close knit family, realised for herself that it was time to relocate and has found a whole new life in a retirement setting," M V Tronson noted.
Moreover, his own late parents, over a period of time, downsized from a home, to a unit, to a retirement village and finally to full care.
"These decisions were made by themselves, each relocation was made with a very sensible approach and they were in the fortunate position to have the support of family and a church network," Mark Tronson remembered.
Other situations are not so easy. He recounts the situations of numerous friends over his 32 years as a Baptist minister that were far more complicated, and he mourns the distress it caused to family relationships.
"Family relationships are very complex. I have discovered that invariably there are the extremes in personalities of the elders and their younger family members; from those who never want to face the realities of such a situation to those who appear to be cold-blooded in their analysis of the bare facts," M V Tronson commented.
The most difficult situations in his view are not related to the bereavements where one elderly parent is left, nor the situation where only one of the elderly parents is in full care due their physical or emotional circumstances, but rather where the medical situation has made it impossible for one elderly person to look after their ill spouse at home.
"The questions raised with such circumstances are text-book cases of heartbreak and indecision," M V Tronson explained.
There are a variety of counselling provisions available, from loving caring church communities to charitable sector agencies to government offices, to provide wisdom and care to families who face such agonising decisions.
"Whatever decision is made, although it will be the one that is most sensible at the time, humans will grieve later about issues associated with 'could have done more', 'waited to long', 'unfair guilt', and such like," cautioned Mark Tronson.
"Inevitably, these feelings last for a time. The family can benefit from counselling, too, to reassure them that they did the best they possibly could, under the circumstances at that time; circumstances which could not have been changed then."
Ecclesiastes 3 tells us from time immemorial that to everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven, a time to be born and a time to die, a time to break down, a time to heal, and a time to embrace.....