I have my lunch at 12pm. I get a bit frustrated if I have to wait until 12.30pm and look out if I have to wait until 1pm. But usually, I have my lunch at 12pm and usually, there are a few people in the lunch room to share lunch with. We have a chat, talk about each other's lunch and just generally bond. It's a great stress relief and the conversations can be hilarious.
So this day, being a Monday, I was having a less than happy day. Clients always seem to be more antagonistic on a Monday and the staff always seem to be running late, missing their pen and the like. So you can imagine I was looking forward to sharing lunch with the girls where we could all commiserate together. Except it seemed the other girls missed the 'memo.' They all organised to go to lunch together and I was left in the lunch room alone and even more miserable than I was 10 minutes earlier. I had been left out and it hurt.
After a few minutes sulking and feeling bad for myself, I decided it was probably unintentional and I was being childish. I picked up my mood, cracked a few jokes with the girls and got on with work. As I passed two of them a few minutes later, I caught enough of a conversation to realise the group of girls were organising a bowling night out together...cue hurt feelings once again.
Even Jesus was left out
Being left out is a painful experience. We feel demoralised, hurt, unappreciated and lonely. When we feel this way, it can be difficult to realise not only are we one of many who have suffered this experience, but Jesus was also left out and suffered the same pain and humiliation.
Matthew chapter 26, verses 31-34:
Then Jesus told them, "This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: 'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee."Peter replied, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will." "Truly I tell you," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."
Jesus predicts being betrayed by Judas and the rest of the twelve. It shows the pain Jesus suffered by being deserted. Jesus is talking about knowing he was going to be left to suffer alone.
Often, when we are left out, we also feel deserted. We feel like we have to manage the stresses of life or the job alone. It's a feeling most adults have experienced several times during their working life and often in their personal life too. Humans were designed to be a pack, working together to achieve a common goal.
Another example of Jesus' experience of being left out and abandoned is when he is being crucified. This experience is the most soul-destroying loneliness he could have experienced, and he experienced it on our behalf.
Matthew chapter 27, verse 46:
About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?")
Jesus was abandoned by the most important figure in his life, his Heavenly Father. He was left out of God's encompassing love. It destroyed him and he experienced this crushing loneliness so we wouldn't have to experience it on our own.
We are God's children
We are God's children, and because of that, we are never left out, although we might feel otherwise. God has given us an inheritance which makes all the jewels on earth seem dull. He tells us this in Deuteronomy and again in Hebrews.
Deuteronomy chapter 31, verse 8; Hebrews chapter 13, verse 5:
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
It can be difficult to be in the world but not a part of the world. We are bashed with temptations and human emotions which can leave us feeling dejected and wondering whether we will ever see the joys promised by God. We try to stand apart from the world while yearning to be included in it. We are being left out in the short while to be included for eternity.
Beating the loneliness
It is very easy to fall into a trap of blaming certain people for leaving you out, or wanting others to feel the pain and loneliness you do. As the children of God, we need to check ourselves for responding in this way. God calls us to show love and compassion to all. So how should we respond when we're left out?
1. Pray
It is probably the hardest response but it should be your first. Matthew chapter 5, verse 43-44: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..."Tell God how you feel and ask him what he's trying to teach you through this experience.
2. Organise a get together
One good way of connecting with those who have left you out is to organise a get together with them. This gives you the chance to show your personality off in a situation you are comfortable with. Let them know you're interested in a friendship. Show them you can be interested in their passions as well. They might not know you like AFL or going to the movies to see the latest blockbuster.
3. Connect with others
See if there is anyone else who is being left out and reach out to them. You could make a life-long friendship and they will feel grateful someone has noticed them too.
4. Turn to your church family
The one group of people who should never leave you out is your church family. Turn to them for encouragement, event planning or just to validate your feelings. They are there to help you.
Moving forward
Most of the time you will find people haven't deliberately left you out. Even if they have, allow God's love to shine through in your treatment of them. Keep being kind, help them out, talk to them and express interest in being included next time. But most importantly, focus on the love God showers you with...He will never leave you out.
Emma is a full time admin worker with a passion for Christ and an interest in reading, writing and music.
Emma Seabrook's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/emma-seabrook.html