What are you expecting when you hear about a miracle?
November 2020. I could never forget. I come to Him one day after my son is diagnosed with a tumor on his left leg while he is still 6 months in my tummy. I earn all the courage in desperation for an encounter with Him during such unimaginable situation.
As I pour my heart out, all of a sudden His blessings from the past days keep rushing and I felt an overwhelming sensation of His grace and favor. A sudden change of the atmosphere. It is not about the blessing or the favor anymore. It is when He makes me realize, that all those times I come closer to Him, he knows.
He knows the very reason of me wanting to encounter Him. He had searched me and sees that deep inside, I wanted to win His heart in exchange of something. I took the chances that maybe; my intimacy with Him will be a ticket for a greater blessing. That maybe when I come closer, there’s a chance of an answered prayer, that He would perform a miracle inside me. That maybe after kneeling and praying, my son will experience supernatural healing.
Because I believe that He is a miracle working God. He exposed my heart and my intentions. Yet in spite of it all, He showed me how He still chooses to grant my request. All those times that I come not for the purpose of an encounter but to come in expectation of greater blessing and answered prayers. He said he loves me that much that even if He knows my deepest intentions, He never withhold what I’ve been longing for.
But this time He wants me to learn something. He wanted me to see a whole new meaning of a miracle. I gave birth February 2021. My husband and I were still expecting for a miracle of healing to happen.
But we lost Him after 15 days.
It took us a while to understand and until this very moment we still feel the pain of losing him.
As the days goes by God is unveiling His miracle by showing us all those people who have helped us during our time in the Hospital. He made me see that His miracles are not just in the form of healing and or finances. Sometimes it’s in the form of helping hands, of people who are willing to take care of you on your death bed. Sometimes it’s in the form of the people who pray and cry with you during your tough times. This realization helps me to heal slowly.
Maybe you are a mother who just lost a son or a daughter, or a loved one. You may be suffering from anxiety or depression. You must have been blaming yourself because of their loss. Know that it isn’t your fault. Let God carry the burden for you. Allow Him to strengthen and encourage you. Because he is able to heal you. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety upon him, because He cares for you”.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”(Ephesians chapter 3, verses 17-19)
May we always be reminded that He loves us not because we are loveable but because it is His very nature to Love.