Proverbs 31 is a well-known passage to women. It teaches us that above all, women should revere the Lord and honor Him with all their hearts and mind. I have not truly understood the importance of this passage until God had ushered me out of my season of being single.
It’s true that as a single woman I can learn a lot from this passage, but the oracle that King Lemuel’s mother taught him speaks more intimately to me now that I am a wife and a mother. In fact, Proverbs 31 is not just a piece of gem that talks about how to become the godly wife that we should be, but it also narrates that a mother’s love seeks to teach, protect, and give grace.
I cannot help but think of my mother every time I read through the 31st chapter of Proverbs.
She carries in her heart the grace and love that are innate in every woman capable of embracing a life more than their own. True enough, my mother has embraced her calling to teach and guide me until I am equipped to set out and have a family of my own.
Here are the treasures growing up with my mother taught me:
Beauty is so much more than what you see.
The society has long established ‘ideal’, yet unrealistic standards of beauty, and the more women conform to such, the greater satisfaction they feel -- the higher value they can put on themselves. But the truth is, these are lies. At the end of it all, good looks won’t have any impact or weight in eternity.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs chapter 31, verse 30)
My mother taught me that you can spend all your money on making yourself attractive and appealing, but it is your character that leaves an impression.
She has no problem working in the fields under the scorching heat of the sun because her sunburned skin and the lines on her face don’t define her, it’s her love and honor for the Lord. God has set us apart for His glory and purpose and that means our focus and mindset should no longer gratify the flesh.
We are called to do greater things in the Kingdom of God for the glory of God’s name, and our outward appearance should be the least of our concerns.
What matters now and in eternity is the beauty of our hearts and that we are transformed from glory to glory. Beauty is not a face without blemish or a body that captures the eyes of men. It is the hidden person of the heart, the gentleness of the spirit.
“But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” (1 Peter chapter 3, verse 4)
Motherhood is not easy, but every moment is worth living
I guess I can say that my mother and I have different approaches to discipline and parenting, and I am not saying that it’s bad. Though my brothers and I had to learn the hard and ‘painful’ way and I didn’t understand her methods because I was young, I’m glad my mother didn’t let us have our own way.
She was strict and was not very expressive, yet she was the kind of mother who would do everything for her family. She couldn’t care less if she had nothing to eat just as long as her children are well-fed. She would give her life for us in a heartbeat.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. Proverbs 31:25
I have yet to welcome my child into this world but from the moment I have learned of my pregnancy, God has prepared me for this season. Everything that I went through the past months was set by God to make me the person I am now. Weeping was a natural part of it because I had witnessed the wonderful kindness of God all throughout.
I believe in the God who undeniably loves His children, and I know that He will be with me every step of the way just as He’s always been.
The tough seasons will come, and my heart may faint, but I will not stop putting my faith in Jesus. If the winds and storms obeyed Him, He will also calm my heart and silence my fears.
Your Family Is Your Sanctuary
If I were to summarize all the other lessons that I’ve learned from her, it would be this statement. A family is not merely a group of individuals related to one another by blood. It is God’s precious gift to us, and He ordained this even before the world began.
Today, more and more families are ripped apart for so many reasons, and some could have been saved if one or two were willing to communicate, forgive and let love be greater.
If we love God and value what He loves, why can’t we see how much our families mean to Him? This is the reason why we must never lay aside praying and studying God’s Word as a family.
We can guard our homes and families from all the schemes of the enemy by obeying His statutes and prioritizing seeking His Kingdom above all, together.
I have learned from my mother that it was not easy to keep our family together, but it was God’s grace that helped her through. Though she put her faith in the Lord Jesus in 2014, she has made it her mission to bring us to Christ and be saved by His grace.
Because of her prayers and guidance, I made sure I will only entrust my heart to a man who fears the Lord. I vowed to God that if I won’t meet a man who loves Him with all his heart and mind, I’d rather live a single woman.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs chapter 31, verses 28-19)
These are other practical ways to foster and love and grace in our families:
Be quick to listen, slow to speak.
Be ready to forgive no matter how much it hurts.
Be there for one another.
Be willing to open up and communicate.
Love, serve and honor God above all.