The only thing left will be to disappear namelessly into a wave of other forty-some-things, no longer distinguishable, unique or beautiful. Or – we can fight and 'turn back the clock' on our ageing – apparently what we should be doing.
The inevitable passing of time has become one I've become increasingly aware of; with every birthday, a little more fearful of the dreaded milestones I 'should' have reached. I realise if I let it, the fear of the natural passage of time will suck the joy out of the passing of these years.
For years, I couldn't wait to be older... from waiting to be old enough to go to 'big' school, being legally allowed to go to the local bar, to wishing I was taken more seriously (by being older and more experienced) in my first professional job out of University.
But now I find myself openly rejoicing about the fact I just got ID'ed in the supermarket for a bottle of vino, celebrating the fact with Facebook friends that don't care, of the 'fact' I look so young (even though I'm 32 and the reason I got ID'ed is because the check-out girl was 16). When did this actually change? We seem to transition from being not quite old enough to not quite young enough… and the age we are never seems to be quite the 'right' age for us to be peaceful with.
Listening to Pastor Andy Stanley's podcast on 'Starting Over', I was challenged on how I viewed time. Guinness has been telling me for years that 'Good things come to those who wait', but I've never really viewed it as more than time equals a good head on a beer. I can't wait for my holiday in six months' time – or in three weeks' time when my next pay cheque comes in. But mulling over these words,
I've been surprised at the mellowing of my heart towards time… because I've made the pretty audacious move (for me) to ditch the concept of time as the enemy. Instead of time being the destroyer of my fun and my future, time is going to 'be my friend' (according to Andy Stanley).
Inspired by his words, it got me thinking that time could be something God invented for us to enjoy. The passing of time and journeying through the seasons could be one we actively benefit from as it happens – not just afterwards when all is dusted and things are sorted. We don't just view it as the 'wait period' – desperately praying that God would help us through this season. Instead, we can enjoy the way our character is being formed through time and our world view being shaped for the better even if we'd rather be in a different season.
No rush
And with that there is no rush. Of course Ecclesiastes 3 says that there is, 'A Time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die...' – but what if I actively took those verses to mean for now (and not just to be read at someone's funeral?)
Things might not have worked out in the way I expected. That broken relationship – I want to pick myself, move on and have it all. In my time, and quickly. But what if God says wait – what's the hurry? That the tick tocking of the clock is not a party killer, but one that's going to set me up for the long term. That time is still on my side – and here's the key – because it's ultimately never against me, it never has and it never will. However old I am.
Whenever I get that thought in my head about being fearful of the future, or feeling stuck in being in one place too long (i.e. it's time to move on), I think about time. I don't want time to make me feel helpless, out of control and desperate to move things onto the next stage of life, or even give me itchy feet that I've been in one situation or place too long.
So I'm learning that time is my friend. Not to rush. Not to wish things away. My season is my season and if I'm still learning in it, it might still be here for a while. I might even learn to like it.
Originally from The Lake District in the UK, Amanda works in Publishing in Auckland and is passionate about seeing Christians bring salt and light into the media, arts and creative industries. She is also working on fighting her FOMO and doing less.
Amanda Robinson's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/amanda-robinson.html