My friend Dani (not her real name) recently had a dilemma. She and her boyfriend, Troy (not his real name) were both in their mid-20s and had been Christians for years. They’d been together since they were teenagers. He played keyboard for the choir at their church and she served in various ministries including working with young people.
She’d felt God telling her for some time, in dreams and in confirmations through people and events, that she and Troy needed to break up but she wrestled with it. She felt God say that Troy was getting in the way of His purpose for her life.
She and Troy spent many, many hours together and communicated obsessively, each had made the relationship an idol. Because of Troy, Dani didn’t have time for the young people. When many came to her to talk about a situation they were going through, she had neither the time nor interest to focus on listening. But things came to a head when God sent her a message she couldn’t ignore.
She broke things off with Troy. She was angry at God and would at times dissolve into bouts of tears. She asked me: ‘why would God tell her to give up her best friend? A man she knew loved her?’
She struggled. A new woman came into Troy’s life- one God had warned Dani about in a dream. One day, in exasperation, she asked me: ‘why would God ask me to do such a hard thing?’
Her question made me think of chapter 4 of Ezekiel which I’d just read in my devotion time. In it, the prophet Ezekiel was told by God to do a hard thing.
The story of Ezekiel
God gave Ezekiel the following instructions in chapter 4: ‘take a brick and set it before you. On it portray a city, Jerusalem; and put siegeworks against it, and build a siege wall against it…Then take an iron plate and place it as an iron wall between you and the city; set your face toward it, and let it be in a state of siege, and press the siege against it. This is a sign for the house of Israel.
Then lie on your left side and place the punishment of the house of Israel upon it; you shall bear their punishment for the number of the days that you lie there. For I assign to you a number of days, three hundred ninety days, equal to the number of the years of their punishment; and so you shall bear the punishment of the house of Israel.
When you have completed these, you shall lie down a second time, but on your right side, and bear the punishment of the house of Judah; forty days I assign you, one day for each year. You shall set your face toward the siege of Jerusalem, and with your arm bared you shall prophesy against it. I am putting cords on you so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have completed the days of your siege.’
Imagine spending your days lying on one side for 390 days and then turning to the next side and lying there for another 40 days.
God wasn’t done. He went on to tell Ezekiel he had to eat meagre rations of food to signify lack of food in a time of famine. God told him to bake a barley-cake over human dung! (Ezekiel chapter 4 verse 12).
An appalled Ezekiel protested and God relented and basically said ‘fine, use cow dung then’ (Ezekiel chapter 4 verse 15). I pictured the grimace of disgust on Ezekiel’s face.
When I read chapter 4, my first thought was: ‘I’m glad I’m not Ezekiel.’
What also came to mind was the prophet Hosea who God told to marry a promiscuous woman, Gomer, who was believed to be a prostitute. Gomer constantly abandoned and cheated on him and Hosea was always commanded by God to go after her to bring her back home. God’s aim was to illustrate the Israelite’s unfaithfulness to Him.
On the face of it, what Ezekiel and Hosea were instructed to do seems harder than what we Christians face today. But the truth is, for each of our situations, what God may ask us to do will feel hard.
Something that may be easy for one person feels nearly impossible for another.
What is your hard thing?
Whatever difficult thing God asks you to do, it’s vital that we do it. God says ‘obedience is better than sacrifice’ (1 Samuel chapter 15 verses 22-23).
Why should you do it?
Because God is good.
Because God intends it for your good, even if He never tells you the specific reason.
For Dani, over the past few months, she has had more time on her hands and is now seen as more approachable by the youngsters at church. She confided to me: ‘Girl, these kids are going through some stuff!’ Grappling with things like abuse at home and thoughts of suicide.
Dani has made time to focus on helping the youngsters around her. ‘I know I’m making a difference,’ she tells me. It is still hard though to see Troy at the keyboard every Sunday accompanying the choir, to watch him talking to the new girl who recently started coming to church, laughing among their mutual friends.
But she confided last week that three persons individually came to her and told her they had heard from God that everything will work out in the end. She and Troy will get back together but for now the break was needed for the benefit of them both. Troy needed to grow in his faith, without having Dani as a spiritual crutch. In this season, room had been created for God to draw Troy closer to Himself, without the distraction of Dani.
Though every day is still hard, Dani battles feelings of loneliness and misses Troy, but she keeps going, making sure to honour what God wants.
I believe their story will end well. Yours will too, once you fulfil what God asks of you.
Once you do the hard thing.