“In whom do you place your trust Emily?”
“In whom do you place your trust Emily?”
“In whom do you place your trust Emily?”
Constant. But not intrusive. These were the words that echoed through my mind for three weeks straight. Often it would follow with the preceding sentence, “in your own abilities, or mine?”.
I’ve had something on my mind. It has been intrusive, anxiety provoking, highly annoying, overwhelming (all the adjectives you can think of really) and had the “you can’t do anything worthwhile Emily,” type of resonance.
When anxiety strikes
I don’t think I have experienced anything quite as suffocating as anxiety. It comes at the most inconvenient times possible. All day every day. Sometimes I can be sitting there and be like wow, I haven’t had an anxious thought in ten minutes. But then, as soon as I start thinking about anxious thoughts, I become anxious.
Anxious about being anxious. Classic. When anxiety strikes, I often become so self-obsessed, or obsessed about a single issue that I forget that there is a wider view. Instead of trusting in God’s promise - the provision of his grace and an abundance of it, I am prone to blanketing myself in a pit of needless concern.
And then, I’m blinded to what I call my reality – my everyday living. It is here that I trade what I know to be the ‘wider view’ of grace for emptiness, self-pity, worry and doubt. Praise the good Lord that the Bible has something to say about anxiety! Because if it didn’t, I would be an anxious mess.
A remembering people
When it comes to finding some serious hope in your pit, God calls us to remember. If you spend even a few seconds thinking about God’s faithfulness in your past, there amidst the anxious thoughts, you will find new morning mercies. An ocean of past grace dwells there and welcomes you to come, to drink, and remember as often as you need to.
And then, in remembering God’s provisions in your life – we find the unshakeable pillars of our hope in Christ. See God with us, Jesus, look upon his life given as a living sacrifice for you, perfectly lived and perfectly poured out. Look again at the resurrection, the ascension and the inaugural reign of Christ at the right hand of God the Father.
If you look further still you see a faithful God, a cloud by day and by night, a pillar of fire. Look to the furthest corners of your ocean and see your name – written in the book of life, sealed for all eternity. How different would our lives look if we drank these waters daily, shifting our mentality with ready defences to fight the arrows of anxiety?
Your future
Your future is very, very good. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,” (Hebrews chapter 11, verse 1). Though we can only see things through our human lens, our future is mind-blowingly good. We may not know every detail now, but there is enough here to draw real confidence from.
When you look to God’s final victory over Satan, sin and death you see our inheritance. The marriage supper of the Lamb. God himself. Shalom. Joy unspeakable. A new earth and heaven. A reunion with your brothers and sisters. The river of God – full of water. Freely given and received. You will stand in awe. You will see Jesus face to face.
“No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians chapter 2, verse 9).
Your life now
Look at your life now. See your current problems, your anxious thoughts through past and future lenses. Then add these promises. This is what Scripture says about you now.
Inside of you is a spring of water. The power that raised Christ from the dead. You have the fruit of the Spirit. You are an adopted son or daughter of the King. You can’t lose your standing with him.
Grace upon grace has being lavished upon you, according to God’s infinite wisdom, in just the right proportion to meet your daily needs, whatever they may be. God is weaving all things together for your utmost good, equipping you with all that you need to accomplish his will.
The great healer
This is what my anxious about being anxious heart needs. With eyes filled afresh with faith, I can see that God is never against me. He doesn’t wish my anxious thoughts upon me. God is infinitely for me in my every moment. And if you are in Christ, this is true for you also!
Jesus says that the root of anxiety is inadequate faith in our Father’s future grace (Matthew chapter 6, verse 30). He so desires that we live in the strength that he provides by faith in his future grace.
But Jesus, the great healer, reconciles our unbelief when we cry out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark chapter 9, verse 24). We all know anxiety well. But Jesus knows it better. His promises are real and reliable. They are for today and washing you in future grace.
Emily Black is passionate about writing and seeks to write raw, authentic, and timely pieces that disturb and comfort, engage justice and fundamentally empower. She is currently studying a Bachelor of Arts at The University of Melbourne and actively desires to pursue a life of untainted freedom through Jesus Christ.
Emily Black’s previous articles may be viewed at
http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/emily-black.html
Emily Black is passionate about writing and seeks to write raw, authentic and timely pieces that disturb and comfort, engage justice and fundamentally empower. She is currently studying a Bachelor of Arts at The University of Melbourne and actively desires to pursue a life of untainted freedom through Jesus Christ.Emily Black’s previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/emily-black.html