When I was 25 I married. I now have a secure future with my husband, a daughter, another child on the way, a beautiful home that we live in, a gorgeous set of in-laws and extended family, and love being a mum that I have always dreamt of. Sometimes when I think about how blessed I am, I reflect on my life and how far God has brought me.
And it makes me shudder to think just 10 years ago, I was only beginning to heal from a long struggle of emptiness and brokenness. I was grappling to understand the meaning of life and suffering. I was struggling to see any significance in my life. I was fighting my demons and I believed my life will not change for the better. I believed my life had no purpose.
In the book of Ecclesiastes, I could relate to how meaningless King Solomon found his life. No matter what I do, or how much I succeeded in life, I still found it meaningless.
This troubled me greatly, because during my healing stages when my life started to improve, I battled with this predicament I constantly found myself in. I thought to myself that even if I did come out of my darkness and experienced joy and happiness from a successful job or wealth, it will all be useless and futile, because I will die anyway. What’s the point of being joyful and happy then?
Where then can I find true joy and happiness? Where can I find true fulfilment in life? What is it that I am truly looking for? Good grades so that I could graduate and find a good job? And hopefully find someone that I can marry, have that perfect suburban life with 2.3 kids, lead a successful career and then die? Is that all? I always knew there was more to life than just fitting into the typical stereotype of human conformation in modern society.
Back then, when I fervently believed that life had no meaning for me, and there was no point being happy from temporary things, that’s when I found God to be real. Even the richest, most powerful man on earth will not be able to prevent death. Life is unpredictable with all its ups and downs.
As a follower of Jesus
And being a Christian has taught me to be wise in my efforts and to make the best of what I have, because I will never know when it will all be gone. There is nothing that is secure on earth except the believe and hope that one day, when it’s all over, I can come home to my Heavenly Father.
There is a divine power that pervades my life, and it is with my utmost humility to accept that and allow God’s intervention in my life, because God’s plans are always better than my own.
Now I clearly see that God always has a plan, a purpose for all He does. God brought me out of my darkness and brought me into my new life in Christ in perfect timing. Everything had to happen exactly the way it did, so that one day I would be here, bringing glory to God and all He has done for me. Just like in Ecclesiastes, chapter 3 verses 1-8, God has timing for everything, from seasons change, to love, war and peace.
And ever since I allowed God to come into my life, I have sought God’s guidance in the changing needs of my everyday life to who I am becoming in this changing world. Someone said to me before, that the only thing that is constant is change.
I would say the only thing that is constant is Christ. Because even though everything changes around us constantly, Christ remains constant through everything. God is always in control. I can’t control every aspect of my life but I can control my level of faith and my character.
And I choose to continue to have faith in God, because there is nothing more secure, more fulfilling and more real than that. Believing in God is everlasting, nothing else prevails.
Clarissa Yates is from Singapore but moved to live in Perth, Western Australia in 2008. She is currently working as a Research Assistant at the University of Western Australia, and hopes to pursue her further studies in a Masters or Doctorate.
Clarissa Yate's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/clarissa-goh.html
Clarissa Yates is a young writer and a mum of two from Perth, Western Australia and a business woman with her 'Hooked in a Box' - www.hookedinabox.com. Hooked in a Box is a curated gift box studio company that hand-picks and creates customised and personalised gift boxes for Mum and babies. Clarissa Yates previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/clarissa-yates.html