Sending Christmas cards to family, friends, and acquaintances is a charming gesture during the holidays, but sometimes it can be done in bad taste and cause more hurt than cheer.
Kay Warren, wife of one of the most internationally-recognised pastors Rick Warren, just took to Facebook about the difficulties grieving parents have to endure during the Christmas season, and one of these is opening up "photo cards of beautiful, happy, and intact families."
Rick and Kay Warren lost their son Matthew after he took his own life last 2013, and Christmas has never been the same for their family since. Kay admitted to ignoring Christmas activities just to avoid stirring up memories when "all three of my children were alive."
"I avoided people, places and events that were sure to intensify my pain. But the cards came uninvited into my mailbox every day," she lamented. What's worse, Kay said, is that the cards were standardized and majority didn't even mention their recent loss.
"I thought that perhaps this first batch of cards were atypical – that surely, most people would be like the kind friend and say SOMETHING that let us know they were aware of how excruciatingly painful Christmas was going to be – but that isn't what happened," Kay added.
She said that Christmas might always have a sting for them now, but it would really help if people started being more sensitive to their pain.
"Please THINK about the recipient before you send a greeting card this year. If you've taken the obligatory picture of the 'happy family,' consider sending instead a plain card to a grieving family – one that doesn't smack them in the face with a reminder of how life used to be for them," she urged.
"Tell them in a few words that you are aware of how painful Christmas can be and that you are praying for them – tell them you love them and that you are with them in shared sorrow. Yes, it's inconvenient – it will take more time than your rushed signature, and it will require entering into someone else's loss, mourning, grief and anger at a time when the world pretends that all our 'troubles will be out of sight.'"