If you're anything like me, you like to think of yourself as a giver and not a taker. The exception would be if there's a bowl of chips and a large pot of guacamole in front of me, and then I'm going to take as much as I can get.
I'm talking about learning to receive gifts and love, and ultimately letting yourself be blessed—whether financially, emotionally or practically.
Sometimes, when we accept blessing, it can feel like we're taking advantage of someone else. However, if the situation was reversed, you know that you'd be the first to volunteer to drive someone home if they were stuck, shout a friend a coffee, take time to listen to a friend on the phone, or respond to whatever someone's need was that day.
What goes around comes around right? Yet so many of us are prepared to do the 'goes' (or the giving) but not accept the 'comes around' (or the taking).
Am I worth blessing?
Moving overseas has presented a dilemma. As my small pot of cash needed to guarantee that I could pay my rent for a few months (mixed with US visas), I decided that buying a car was off the agenda. As a friend tells me, I have now joined the #buslife club, and so my day usually involves a lot of walking and waiting at cold bus stops at a ski resort town 8000 feet above sea level. And it pains me to ask friends for a ride. Even though the temperature is below freezing, I still decide to trek by myself through the snow so I don't have to ask for help.
Why is it that I find it so difficult to accept a car ride, let alone take one step further and ask for one? I know I'm not the only person who shares this same issue with asking for help. Do I believe I'm a burden to people? Or is it a question of feeling like I want to give out, but others wouldn't want to give back to me?
And in not accepting these offers, am I limiting someone else's potential to bless and give out? I'm not suggesting an acquaintance becomes your personal chauffeur to drive you around town... But does your heart believe it is worth being blessed and that your needs are valid?
Just recently, I was invited to go on a road-trip for my first American Thanksgiving celebration. At our first lunch stop on the road, my wallet was quickly ushered back into my handbag as soon as it saw air. I was given firm instructions that for the entire trip, I wasn't to pay for anything, it would be covered, and this was an opportunity for me to just be loved and be blessed.
As I was handed my fast-food Taco, I wasn't quite sure I comprehended what I had just been presented with for the next few days... Someone else was going to pay for everything we did, there was no limit to what I could order in a restaurant, and I should just sit back and enjoy it?
My natural reaction was to automatically refuse this generosity, as it was ingrained in me that it was impolite to accept. Yet the underlying question remained: why would anyone—other than my parents—want to do this for me?
A new season
Funnily enough (or not), this is a season where the Holy Spirit is asking me to embrace 'Sonship' (well, 'Daughtership' more accurately). To kick back on the couch, put my feet up, and be looked after—and step into an understanding of my heavenly inheritance. I don't have to work or earn that blessing. I was gifted it out of love, because I was travelling with a couple whose hearts were always to bless other people. I decided to accept and see what it felt like to rest in that incredible gift... And it made me secure of their love and inclusion of me, a girl constantly abroad for any major holiday celebrations... and I was welcomed into their family. They didn't just say I was a daughter, they showed me what it was to be a daughter.
And from that place, I wanted to honour them—not out of duty, but because through their generosity, I realised that it's a heart thing to want to bless. I wanted to pass honour back to people who had given so much to me over the few days. I might not have a lot of money to bless right now, but what I can give I want to give. He can do more than we can possibly imagine anyway with our finances. I've seen it and have experienced it firsthand.
In this journey of 'Daughtership' with God, I realise that if I can sit back and accept it and not fight it, I feel the security of knowing I have been included in Hhis inheritance. And even better, that although He has told me that He doesn't need my blessing—and He will pay for everything—I get to choose moments where I can bless Him and honour Him back. Whether it's shouting breakfast for friends in a French Bakery, or giving Him my tithe, my response is one of honour because He loved me and blessed me, not because I am just doing it out of duty or obedience.
Originally from The Lake District in the UK, Amanda worked in Publishing in London and Auckland and is passionate about seeing Christians bring salt and light into the media, arts and creative industries. She's currently spending a six month sabbatical in the mountains of Mammoth Lakes in California, skiing, adventuring and writing.
Amanda Robinson's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/amanda-robinson.html
