Residents of Australia have been shocked by the revelation that God lives in Australia too.
"We didn't know God lived here," said Gillian Albright, a resident of Sydney's Surry Hills.
"It's kind of inconvenient now, with all the parking taken by his friends visiting him at his house. I mean, they seem really nice... But there's definitely a stigma attached to being a friend of God."
Local environmentalist Madison Entime agrees. "If we'd known God was going to be here, we'd probably have picked another neighbourhood. The presence of God really changes the atmosphere of a neighbourhood and to be entirely honest, I'm not sure I like it. There's definitely less crime... Parking's a nightmare though."
At the recent Hillsong Conference in Sydney Olympic park's Qudos Bank Arena, attendees noted God's appeal to celebrities.
"We heard Zac Efron's in town, and assumed he must be here to meet God at the conference. I also read an article about Justin Bieber knowing God (you can read the article here) - I assume that means it's not Too Late Now to Say Sorry."
First time Hillsong visitor shared, "I came along because I thought it was a cult, and I've never been to a cult. A cult is like a rave, right?"
While it is not yet known if any of these celebrities actually attended the conference, media outlets around the world have picked up on the theme and made sweeping generalisations about it.
"I have had calls from media outlets asking if Zac Efron is coming to Hillsong Conference," said Hillsong's media representative, chatting exclusively to Christian Today over tea and biscuits ("I've had 9 of these biscuits today," he whispered to us exclusively so that other news outlets and also his nutritionist would not overhear and repeat the revelation).
Local hipster-barista-come-philosopher Al Garmin shared his struggles with religion's continued existence, despite the fact that he and a couple of friends disagree with it.
"It freaks me out that they believe in God but they dress cool, like the rest of us. Shouldn't they be wearing a badge or something to identify themselves?" he said, shaking his head as he steamed organic almond milk to accompany a single origin double ristretto.
"I was under the impression that religion died in the 90s."
If that's the case Al, consider this a vintage revival.
Grace Mathew is a Sydney-based writer, graduate of International and Global Studies at the University of Sydney and recipient of Goldman Sachs Global Leadership Award. For contact, email grace.mathew@live.com .
Grace Mathew's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/grace-mathew.html