In my view, the departure from traditional sexual values as part of our modern sexual revolution has done much to erode the nuclear family. The removal of traditional sexual taboos has contributed to a sexually permissive culture of licentiousness – this is an area that Christianity had once kept in check.
Consider the following. Having multiple sexual partners has become the norm. The habit of casual sex or with multiple partners, often by immature teens, I believe weakens the glue of commitment-strength and exclusive intimacy that sex builds in a marriage. This coupled with a perverted understanding of love, feelings based - rather than commitment based - undermines what I refer to as 'family cohesion'.
This, I believe, has left us with innumerable broken homes and many, not most, maladjusted people damaged by these broken institutions; in many cases resulting in absent fathers and substandard parenting (by abandoned and immature teen mums) - although some mothers have triumphed at great odds to rear upstanding kids.
Despite some success stories, Christian Family ministries affirm it is generally admitted that single parent homes are far from ideal for the raising of children, evidenced by the weighted statistics of violent criminals who have had no positive Christian father figure in their lives.
These established ministries affirm children are best served with a mother and a father to instil Christian qualities and exemplify the values and respective feminine and masculine identities, which in Christian instruction exist spiritually, psychically and physically. Moreover, and sadly today, much of our society will not admit to even the intrinsically different and distinct nature of the sexes, which God designed to complement each other.
Many single women have had to take up the responsibility as the primary protector and sole provider for their children, becoming highly independent and there is some evidence to show, high-strung, dealing with the stresses of carrying out the roles of both mother and father (recognising that there have been times under national duress such as post WWI and WWII many had no choice but to do just this).
By and large we are not under such national duress and this situation subverts the natural interest of mothers "to rest in the security a man as primary provider and protector" - harking back to a period in time where the physically stronger male was required to provide and protect. (Again I recognise the values of equal opportunity for women to pursue dreams in the modern era which has wrought wonders, though parents now struggle to juggle more between work and the family and with different kinds of issues).
Peddled ideas
The idea peddled that the sexes are essentially the same save for a few physical differences, is in my view (and Christian family ministries), the biggest lie. This has served to level out many behavioural differences in the sexes, making women take on more masculine qualities and vice versa. In my view, this is detrimental as it undermines the inherent complementary and harmonious relationships mothers and fathers provide.
Many men today give every appearance of being quiet, submissive and emasculated while some of their female counterparts exhibit all the hallmarks their partners lack, appearing sometimes vociferous, strong-willed, domineering and overly-independent. In saying that, my girlfriend sees herself as a warrior for God, is relentless, charismatic and determined but still has those feminine qualities, like sensitivity, and a soft countenance in her own way.
Again, this next comment may be highly offensive to those who are militarist feminist, but it's obvious to me at least (and Christian family ministries) that women who enhance their differences actually become highly attractive to men.
Now this is radical thinking today – that a sensitive, delicate, modest and refined woman empowers her man to be masculine and confident. On the other hand, an aggressive, domineering and overbearing woman might see him recline into his shell. (This not in any way suggesting that women cannot be highly successful in business, politics or the corporate world. Such an assertion is ridiculous).
Men crave respect from others (much more than women do), and a woman who makes him feel like a man is a powerful asset to him. Such a man is much more likely to give her the affection and love she in turn craves for – there is an old saying that behind every successful man is a very clever woman.
I think everyone falls into a spectrum on these traditional gender identities, some men more macho than others, and some women softer than others, though our differences are still important and exist for a reason, and these external personality qualities are only a small part of what makes the sexes different.
Jezebel and Ahab
These ruminations are all reminiscent of the Jezebel and Ahab story in the bible (1 Kings 19-22) and evangelical theologians suggest these two constitute a symbolic type of inversion of God's natural order for the sexes - a spiritual and demonic dynamic - models this unwholesome relational formula - to undermine human relationships, causing strife and friction.
The evidence today is overwhelming regardless of how many seminars and conference are held to try and convince us otherwise with pseudo-science and social ordering.
When women submit to their husbands and husbands love their wives as their own bodies, as the New Testament instructs us, relationships have the proclivity of expressing the "divine beautiful" and the "harmonious intrinsic" to this upside-down world.
Amos Sale grew up in Auckland and recently moved to Wellington to assist his girlfriend with her youth ministry. Amos enjoys learning about history, politics, philosophy and biology and he likes sci-fi and action movies. Amos has a passion to defend the Christian worldview and value system against its enemies and detractors by any means he can, and to encourage others to seek out an experiential encounter with God.
Amos Sale previous articles may be viewed at
www.pressserviceinternational.org/amos-sale.html