Someone once said that the moment a child is born, the mother is also born. New mums expect to make a lot of adjustments – lack of sleep, body changes, managing a new responsibility – but one of the biggest changes any new mother goes through is the rediscovery of her sense of self.
There is such a profound shift in a woman's life when she becomes a mother. A baby is not merely a cute accessory which can be returned to the drawer or hung up in a cupboard when you're done with it. Motherhood is a revolution. Motherhood is a way of life.
Navigating this change is a recurring topic of conversation among new mums – how do I keep being 'me' when everything has changed? Do I need to enjoy every moment of motherhood to be a good mother? How do I claim back some time as 'my own'? How do I juggle work and motherhood? How do I relate to my partner again? Is this the way life will be forever?
New mummyhood is wonderful but hard, it is beautifully all encompassing but restrictive. This new way of life proudly defines me, but yet, fails to sum me up. Enclaved within motherhood it is hard to see beyond frequent nappy changes and endless piles of washing. I am constantly asking, 'who am I?' and 'will I ever be more than this?'
The truth is that in life we are always more than 'just' one thing. In chapter 31 of the biblical book of Proverbs there is a poem praising a 'wife of noble character'. In this woman's lifetime she raises a family, manages a household staff, works with her hands, oversees business trade and transactions for profit, volunteers to help those less fortunate, keeps her household warmly clothed and fed, and manages to do all this while maintaining a healthy marriage! This sum of this woman is more than just one of the parts of this list. She is not 'just' a mother, or 'just' a businesswoman, or 'just' a seamstress, or 'just' a volunteer.
All around me I see examples of women who continue to evolve and adapt to life, who take on new responsibilities and meet new challenges. I see women who change careers at 60 because retirement is not an option, I see women who work from home to make extra cash to boost income, I see women who overcome major health issues, I see women who leave jobs to volunteer in the community, I see women who take time out to raise and teach young children. I see that women are more than 'just' any one label.
The writer of Proverbs says the woman in chapter 31 'is clothed with strength and dignity; she laughs at the days to come'. As a new mum I take heart in knowing this season of life is exactly that – a season. I will not be changing nappies and tackling mountainous piles of washing forever. As winter melts into spring so the seasons of my life will evolve and change.
The revolution of motherhood has marked me indelibly – and I'm okay with that. Like this woman I can look to my unknown future and trust God, laughing as I know that there will be new adventures to discover, new challenges to overcome and new jobs to do.
Writing is both a personal and professional passion of mine - with training in Theatre, English Literature and Journalism I love of all forms of communication! After working in journalism, public relations and the performing arts I'm currently taking some time out to focus on a new adventure: motherhood! I live with my husband Andrew and our son Guy in Christchurch, New Zealand, where we enjoy spending time with our large extended family and serving our local church.
Sophia Sinclair previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/sophia-sinclair.html