Close your eyes and imagine that for the last 12 months you have been saving every spare dollar towards your first car. Finally, you have the money needed.
You go with your mum to visit the car yard and you see your perfect vehicle. And it's in your favourite colour too. You take it for a test drive and feel like you're floating on air. You pay for the car in full and organise to pick it up next week, after it's had a service and a wash.
All week you daydream about your new car. You can remember the smoothness of the steering wheel, the effortless gear changing and the comfort of the seats. You can hear the purr of the engine in the quiet of the night. You can see the jealous faces of your friends as you cruise down the Main Street, windows open and radio blaring loud.
Finally, the day arrives to pick up your new car. You arrive at the car yard almost buzzing with excitement. Your beautiful car is sitting at the front gate sparkling in the sunlight. You get the keys, leap into the driver's seat and take off on your first ride. Except...the steering wheel is a bit bumpier than you remembered. And there's actually a slight catch moving between third and fourth gear.
You realise you're not as excited as you thought you were. You've fallen victim to the 'arrival fallacy'.
Keeping up with the Jones's
The arrival fallacy is where you factor in your increased happiness about an object coming into your possession before it arrives. It means that when the event finally happens, when you arrive at that critical point, you're already at that increased level of happiness. So the event doesn't seem as significant.
The arrival fallacy is a result of the society we have created. Advertisements tell us we must have the newest and best of everything, now! Borrow the money if you don't have it, but don't waste any time in case you miss out. The fear of missing out is the precursor to the arrival fallacy. It's also known as 'keeping up with the Jones's'.
So what's the solution? In short, living in the moment. By making the most of every moment, appreciating every blessing and being grateful for every object, event or feeling, you reduce the impact the arrival fallacy has on you. Instead of imagining how much happier the object is going to make you, simply enjoy the moment as it happens.
Using our car experience, focus on the excitement of the test drive. Take in every little bit of the car that appeals to you. Notice the radio, the gears and the air-conditioning system. Be excited that two of your four windows are automatic. When you leave after organising to pick up the car next week, only remember what you experienced in that moment. Don't think about how cool everyone will think you are driving down the Main Street. Experience the experience as it is happening.
Spiritual side-effects
Interestingly, the arrival fallacy also affects our spiritual life. For example, we pray to God to give us the blessing of a new job. We pray hard and truly believe he can hear us.
When we're offered the job, the excitement is reduced. We already knew we were going to get the job, because God is on our side, so we imagine what it's like to have that job. We know exactly how we're going to tell people what we do for work. And when the opportunity arises, it's actually not that big.
We thank God in prayer for giving us what we wanted, but our heart says it's not as big an event as you thought.
The arrival fallacy can have some devastating side-effects. Our joy for everyday things is reduced. We feel we need to buy more things to get the same excitement. We focus more on how others perceive us and then struggle when it doesn't match up to our expectations.
So today I give you a challenge. Stop focusing on the future and how much happier you are going to be. Start focusing on how happy you are today.
Smile at the one flower that dared to bloom early. Hug your family a little tighter and focus on the positive vibes flowing. Let yourself get enthusiastic about the topic of discussion around the workplace cooler. And stop the arrival fallacy stealing your joy.
Emma is a full time admin worker with a passion for Christ and an interest in reading, writing and music.
Emma Seabrook's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/emma-seabrook.html