I'm about to share with you my personal journey. I shared this one night at my home church, but I felt spiritually attacked and left feeling like my voice didn't matter. But I'm not deterred, so here is my story.
My Mum describes me as the fieriest person she has ever met.
I can be stubborn, rude, harsh, red-headed, passionate, determined, judgemental, intense, opinionated, controlling, sassy, competitive, deeply afflicted, angry, quickly aggravated. I'm always doing something; I struggle to sit still. I often don't think before I speak or before write (sorry family). I strongly dislike fakeness, the comfortable, four walls, dead traditions, lacklustreness and annoying brothers.
But I love the gritty, the real, the authentic, the dirt of humanity. I love being moved, I love a challenge, I like change, good music, passionate Jesus followers, public speaking. Exercise, writing, organising, creating, sunsets, visionary people, Ravi Zacharias. I love the movies: 'The Help' & 'Selma' because someone did something, someone had the guts to say 'Here I am, send me'.
In 2013 my old youth pastor put three words to this, he said:
"You're discontent, Emily. You're discontent, Emily."
Where it all began
It really all began 12 years ago in a local MacDonald's. I remember seeing a man walking backwards, moonwalking but backwards. Immediately I could tell he was homeless and had a mental disability. He came up to us, asking Mum to donate money to him so he could get a blood transfusion. Mum said no, as most people do.
I immediately started feeling so physically sick that Mum had to take me to the bathroom, fearful I would throw up. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in my dreams, my prayers, my worries and the cause of many stomach aches.
Last year, I started volunteering at the organisation TEAR Australia – which exists to empower responses to poverty and injustice. I really have no idea why I started there, it kind of just happened without me even realising what was going on.
I finally worked it out
But it wasn't until I attended The Justice Conference in October of last year that I could finally put words to that one thing, that one thing that I just can't stand. It is a conference that primarily focusses on injustice and our response to this as Christians.
My prayer walking up to the doors of this conference, was "God, if this is it, if this is that one thing, Lord would you please show me". As soon as the first song came on, I very clearly heard God say to me "This my daughter, this is what I created you to fight for". I have no other words to put to it but this: I left a changed person.
And in response to this, I don't want justice to be just something I talk about today, or write about tomorrow: I want to embody it. Just like justice is a characteristic of God, I want it to be a characteristic of my life. Not for the sake of myself, or for the sake of justice. But for the sake of the Kingdom of God, the cause of Christ.
So in saying this, I don't want justice to be on my agenda, I want it to be more than my Sunday offering. More than a mission's trip, one of my Instagram posts, a number on a page, a casualty of war, a minute of my time. I want to really see people. God never intended for human beings to be our project.
So through this process, God is slowly untangling the wall of harshness that I created because of my discontentment, and showing me what it looks like to love and to be compassionate.
Because without love, my voice is ONLY a noisy, clanging, symbol. Like for goodness sakes Emily, it's the second commandment. SO LOVE, LOVE, LOVE AWAY!
Pitfalls to avoid
However, I am 100% aware that there can be a few traps when pursuing activism and fighting injustice.
I realise that if I expose myself to all that's broken in the world but neglect to view the brokenness from Heaven's perspective (which promises that everything is in the process of being restored), then I'll get sucked into an impossible downward spiral of aggravation and anger. Things will seem so bleak that I'll end up taking residence inside my firestorm of frustration instead of allowing it to propel me towards positive action.
Also, positive action can be hindered by my opinions. For example: what response I think is the most empathetic to the refugee crisis, or what politician I kindly despise, or the breakdown of what little faith I had left in the American Electoral System. These things can get in the way of good advocacy!
I think it's important that my perspective shift from that which my eyes can see to that which God tells me is true. As I become more 'like' Christ, I should really look less like myself and more like Christ.
Every day, I should be abandoning my self-seeking viewpoints and taking on Heaven's perspective. I should be loosening my grip on self-centeredness and instead looking for ways to serve others. I should be resisting the temptation to judge and seizing more and more opportunities to love.
But if you take all of this away and leave me with one thing to say – I just want to pursue the heart of Jesus.
Emily Black is passionate about writing and seeks to write raw, authentic and timely pieces that disturb and comfort, engage justice and fundamentally empower. She is currently studying a Bachelor of Arts at The University of Melbourne and actively desires to pursue a life of untainted freedom through Jesus Christ.
Emily Black'sprevious articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/emily-black.html