The root of the self-esteem movement began with William James in the nineteenth century. James defined self-esteem as reflecting a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her worth.
In psychology, self-esteem is used to describe a person's overall sense of self-worth or personal value. Self-esteem is crucial because it plays a vital role in your motivation and success in your life. According to secular psychology, a lack of self-esteem will hold a person back from being successful.
The need for self-esteem is an essential basis of Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Thus, what drives the theory of self-esteem is Maslow's hierarchy. At the fourth level of the hierarchy is self-esteem. In other words, people need others' approval to feel that they are contributing to the world. Thus, self-esteem experts tell parents to do everything possible to boost their children's self-esteem. They believe that if children and adolescents have a highly optimistic view of themselves, they would be more likely to succeed in their lives.
The underlying anthropology of self-esteem is the belief that human beings are self-important. Their value and worth are not derived from anything outside of themselves but from themselves. Self-esteem is a man-centered philosophy.
The problem of self-esteem and its solution
This kind of self-esteem can lead a person to feel independent, prideful, and indulge in self-worship, which drives away their desire for God. James chapter 4, verse 6 states that God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble. A person who has high self-esteem may believe that their value comes from within themselves and not from God. Self-esteem leads us to trust in ourselves and will leave us with a sense of worth based on pride.
Nebuchadnezzar is a prime example of a person who has self-esteem. The king boosted his self-esteem by reflecting upon the greatness of his kingdom. He concluded that it all came to pass because of his strength and for his glory. Before finishing boasting of his self-worth, God pronounced His judgment upon Nebuchadnezzar for his pride.
The consequence for his pride was severe. Therefore, parents should not teach their children to boast or brag about themselves because God will humble them.
Another problem with teaching children self-esteem is that they might have a false perception of who they are. Self-esteem opposes the doctrine of human depravity. If parents teach self-esteem to their children, their children will never know their depravity or sinfulness.
Because the fall of Adam tainted the entire human race with sin (Romans chapter 5, verses 12-13), every child in the universe inherited the corruption of sin. Even David admits that he was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin, his mother conceived him (Psalm chapter 51, verse 5). Thus, if parents teach their children to boost their self-esteem, their children will never recognize their sinfulness and, thus their need for Jesus Christ.
The greatest need of children is not self-esteem, but a heart transformation through the gospel, and thus, parents must teach their kids the gospel of Jesus Christ. The most important job of parents is to evangelize their children with the gospel:
(1) teach them the gospel of divine grace, (2) show them their need for a savior, and (3) point them to Jesus as the only Saviour.
The Scripture also commands parents to teach the Scripture diligently in their homes (Deuteronomy chapter 6 verses 6 and 7). Timothy learned the wisdom that leads to salvation from his mother and grandmother (Second Timothy chapter 3 verses 14 and 15). The duty of being a parent is to raise their child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4).
Dat Nguyen is a student at the Master’s Seminary and a member of Grace Community Church in Los Angeles, California. His desire is to be a faithful minister of the Word of God. He loves playing basketball and watching movies.