A story my father told me has always stayed with me. When he was at primary school he was in a running race. As he was about to pass one of the other boys, that lad put out a foot, andtripped Dad up, so that he had to drop back in the race. Commenting on the incident he said to me, “I learned then that you could never trust anybody.”
Sadly, throughout his life he was prone to be suspicious of people’s motives, unless he knew people well.
Learning how to trust
Learning to trust is a key development for a growing child. Consistent loving care is the seedbed for developing trust in others. A friend’s son, whose father became an alcoholic, learned that he couldn’t trust his father. When his Dad had to leave the family home because of his drinking, he still wanted to see his son, and he made promises about taking him out or meeting him somewhere. But the boy learned that he could never be sure if or when his Dad would turn up. Fortunately, other family members have provided the boy with a secure and loving home environment, but he has been left with bitter memories of disillusionment concerning his father.
If children can’t trust the significant adults in their lives, it is unlikely they will be able to put their trust in God. People have to receive love and learn to trust others before it’s possible for them to take such a big step of faith.
Trusting too easily
Other people can be naïve in their trust of others. I was like that as a teenager; I tended to assume the best of other people and then was disappointed when I was let down. However, during the years I learned some discernment, and have come to value integrity all the more. Today, I see the most important character trait in anyone who is a leader in society, or in the church, as being trustworthiness.
Being a person who is able to be trusted by others means they arereflecting something of the character of God, who is completely faithful and able to be trusted. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “I know whom I have believed, that he is able to keep that which I have committed to him…”
Loss of trust
It is utterly tragic to see what has happened in a number of churches and church institutions whereby people have trusted those in authority to be what they claim or are expected to be – upright men and women of God, giving their lives in a vocation to serve God. That trust has been horrifyingly broken when a few of these leaders have abused their power, and physically, verbally and sexually abused some of the most vulnerable in their charge.
Horrific as the abuse is and has been, the most tragic dimension in these situations is the loss of trust on the part of the abused –they have lost trust in human beings, and consequently may have also lostany trust they had in God.
Trusting the wrong people
Even without a background of abuse, putting our trust in authority figures can be challenging. When we vote for candidates in an election, we are putting our trust in them to be people of integrity who will do a good job. In our current climate, finding out if a candidate is worthy of our trust is even more demanding because of the amount of misinformation, and downright lies, spreading virally through the internet in particular.
People are taken in by conspiracy theories and unsubstantiated opinions, and, as in the case of the vaccination mandates, a substantial number are putting their trust in the wrong people. The corollary is that they lose any trust they may have had in a properly constituted authority, and will not believe anything that is contrary to their beliefs, no matter how flimsy they are. There’s a good reason it’s called ‘going down the rabbit hole!’
How people are taken in
Part of the problem is that people lack the ability to do their own proper research, and they may base their opinions on how a person comes across in a podcast or video, or on what a persuasive friend or colleague had to say. (So-called ‘influencers’ have modelled how this behaviour works.) Frequently, there are half-truths in what is being disseminated, and the power of an anecdote may trump any information an expert may provide.
Christians are people who have learned to put their trust in God. Because they are able to trust, sometimes they have trusted the wrong people – other Christians who happen to be personable and have a particular viewpoint, rather than someone secular who is an expert in a particular field, for example.It is so sad that because they’re able to trust, so many Christians have been led astray.
Discerning, and not gullible
Who do we trust? Whenlooking at the challenges we face, we can go to Jesus. He made the comment that his followers are “to be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.”In other words, Christians are to find a balance between being aware of and wise in the ways of the world, and yet at the same time live lives of integrity and faithfulness.
It is said of Jesus that ‘he knew what was in man’ – ie he understood human nature. We are to do the same, when it comes to evaluating others and their perspectives, and relating to them. We can seek wise advice, and we can pray, recognising that God can give us new insights if we approach him (and others) with humility.
Liz Hay rejoices in living in a beautiful part of God’s creation in a high country mountain basin; and she also rejoices in hearing stories of God at work in people’s lives. One of her favourite activities is reading fascinating biographies that illustrate the wonderful ways God works uniquely with each person.