“Sometimes love has to drive a nail to its own hands.” Chris Rice
With Valentine’s Day nearly upon us for another year, what do you have planned?
One could say I'm the opposite of a Grinch. One of my favourite songs is 365 by Nicole C Mullen. Much like Christmas, I believe Valentine’s Day should be every day of the year. I'm sure by now you've taken down your Christmas tree and stored it away for another year or disposed of the dead one. Mine is still up and will remain so for another year, just as it has since I set it up when I moved in.
Call the men with the complimentary white jackets on me if you wish, but why should all we celebrate at Christmas time only happen once a year? I don't believe we should celebrate someone’s life only once a year, and I feel exactly the same about Valentine’s Day.
Being the change
Just before you get on your high horse about it's fine for those people who have people to share these occasions with, I don't have someone to share Valentine’s Day with, yet still I look forward to it. One of my most memorable Christmases of recent years is one I spent at a local church sweating away in the kitchen helping serve up plate after plate of hot food for those gathered in the hall that had nowhere else to go. I could have stayed at home and posted on Facebook about how hard Christmas was, but I chose to be the change.
Many years previous, I was living in a different location and knew a few ladies who all at that time had no one in their life at that point in time. One of the ladies allowed me to take over her kitchen and dining room. That year they had a banquet and company when others may have stayed home with a tub of ice cream and a hallmark movie.
So, this year, though I don't have anyone to share the day with, I am happier than any Valentine’s Day previous. I may not be giddy head over heels in love having just discovered what it's like to take 30 minutes to cover a five-minute distance because kissing and walking are difficult to do simultaneously. I haven't been planning since before Christmas how I would spend the day with my special someone. I haven't been waiting with eager anticipation for their reaction when they open the gift I spent hours finding for them.
Life after healing
This year I'm processing that, as wonderful as being miraculously healed after 10 years is, life doesn't wait for you. While I've been making the best of my altered life, my friends have got married, separated, divorced, re-married, died, had babies, adopted teenagers, all mostly without me. So now that I'm not living with chronic pain and fatigue I'm able to get out of my house a lot easier. But where do I go now?
I always thought it weird when people say they were thankful they were born the way they were or that the event that radically changed their life happened. But I now find myself in the same position. Am I thankful for being in pain for 10 years due to the careless actions of one driver? No. Would I want to relieve the trauma of dealing with doctors and lawyers and insurance companies for so long? No.
I am thankful though for what I've been able to achieve during those hours lying in bed. The growth and development I've been able to achieve is something I probably would have been too busy for had I been working that whole time.
To be able to soak up insights from those who've not only learned things, but been able to convey it to someone else, is what has me now desiring I had someone in my life to put into practice all I've learned.
A feeling of wonder
From Myles Munroe to Dan Mohler, to now be able to see myself as I do is so liberating. The feeling this liberation brings has me feeling happier than the most memorable first kiss. To be able to love not because of what I need from the other person either consciously or subconsciously, but to be able to give unselfishly is so freeing. To be able to look back on past relationships with much clearer insights and much less emotion.
I look forward to whatever the future holds. Being truly happy behind closed doors is something I've never experienced before, and I hope this feeling of wonder never grows old.
So just as it doesn't matter if you didn't have someone to share Christmas with, Valentine’s Day will be what you make it.
How many widows are there in nursing homes that you could anonymously surprise with a card or a gift?
How many more people could your favourite charity love if you made a Valentine’s Day donation?
How many lives could you save if you sacrificed an hour of your time at the blood bank?
How can you show love this year without expecting anything in return?
Your Valentine’s Day doesn't have to replicate an episode of the bachelor/bachelorette. It could resemble A United Kingdom.
“Love is a verb” DC Talk
Neville Hiatt – never to be content with just one project – currently runs two blogs. One which caters to the right brain side of his personality covers his desire to Inspire, Create, Motivate, Educate through his photography, poetry and short stories at http://nevillehiatt.com His left brain blog http://altcoincollege.com/ was started shortly after someone told him about Bitcoin. Not wanting anyone else to say years later if only someone told me sooner.