Covid 19 is in some ways building bonds with spouses and on the other hand, painful. Therefore this subject is right now applicable.
I dug into my archive to find out when this movement ‘submissive wives’ gain momentum. DailyMail ran an article on the 'submissive wives movement' with a thumbs up response from those couples who are first hand witnesses of its benefits.
Erica Tempsta writing for the Daily Mail wrote: “Three women who believe the key to a successful marriage is always being subservient to their husbands' needs are doling out relationship advice as the stars of a new television special exploring the world of submissive wives.”
The article then sets out these three living examples of marriages that are emboldened by submissive wives.
It may not be a surprise to those in Christian ministry, that the submissive wife model was finally tried as almost a last resort as other measures were tried and failed to re-set the marriage.
Friends and family offered advice, professional counsellors, many of whom illustrated a predisposition to shutting up shop and finding someone else, proved unhelpful, so finally, as if a last resort, they turned to the submissive wife model.
These 'submissive wife' woman step aside and allow their husbands to be the leaders of their households because they believe it proves their trust in them - and in God. Oops there's that God word, anathema to the secularist, humanist and hedonist where relationships have virtues without divine engagement.
One such submissive wife Tara Furman is quoted as saying 'Submission is one of the greatest gifts God has given to a woman, I have a joyful home because I am a submissive wife.'
Tara and her husband Tim were inspired by their Bible study, entered into a submissive marriage approximately ten years into their marriage after they realised they were merely cohabiting and needed to make a drastic change in order to save their relationship.
Tara is perfectly content dedicating all of her energy to her husband and his well-being. Tara says her job description is to help her man, serve her man, submit to her man and sleep with her man, and in the video clip is seen asking her husband for some 'instant' matrimonial bedroom bliss (the article referred to this as a quickie).
Tim says that “for her (the wife) to submit to you (the husband), you (the husband) have to give her (the wife) something to submit to” - and this seems to be the key the success of the 'submissive wife model'. It comes from the Bible, Wives submit to your husband, husbands love your wives.
Loving your wife
This seems to be they key to the 'submissive wife' model, not that of being someone who is constantly 'doing stuff' for a husband, rather a wife who is overjoyed to being a help mate in the relationship because her husband does all within his power to ensure his wife's many varied needs are fulfilled.
When women marry into a relationship with their husbands there are certain reasonable and expectant considerations that they expect will fall into place.
They will be treated with respect
They will be encouraged to explore their potential
They will be given help with household chores
They will be happily teased with loads of fun
They will together discuss their lives and decisions
They will share together heartaches and family pain
Christian couples pray together, often read the Bible together as well as separately, discuss many issues as Christians relating to decisions about their work, social engagements, church, financial decisions and the like.
These are marriage 101 models and when functioning well, then the submissive wife model is nothing more than the Christian wife being loved by her husband in such a manner she responding in kind.
This is not a magic pill
None of this is a magic pill, rather essential to a good functioning marriage and the husband who loves his wife in such a manner will find a wife cherishing the desires to ensure he is fulfilled and blessed out of his socks.
More than this, when the children come along, you're marriage is setting a model for them to follow and moreover, their expectations in their own marriages become what they have witnessed at home.
We have seen this in Christian marriages all over. We have worked hard to ensure all these things have a place in our lives. Our four adult children have said on many an occasion that dad will never leave, he has it too good. That's true, my wife Delma in our 43 years has always gone the extra mile in the home and in our relationship.
I have never been short on giving a cuddle to my wife Delma in the kitchen, at the dinner table, in the lounge - and acknowledging her person, her creativity (cooking, crafts, card making, dress making – things she enjoys), her beauty and loveliness, and her ministry – visiting nursing homes and the shut-ins, being involved in the community, going to Know Your Bible classes, giving card making tutorials and being engaged in our children and grand children.
None of this is anything more than what other Christian husbands and wives are engaged – many women work today and they create their own homely environments amidst all the tensions with two people working and families. This deserves another article and how Christian marriages pan out with those stresses.
The critical question is whether husbands love their wives – let's get this right - not allowing them, not encouraging them, but zealously ensuring their full 100% support to be involved in the things they enjoy and want to do.
My wife Delma is out a lot doing all these things that are so very enjoyable to her sense of person-hood and mission. As I am engaged on the key-board so much, in this sense, I am a kind of a house husband and have numerous associates come to 'the our home' for a cuppa and a discussion.