Dear Sunny,
Recently you have gotten even busier. Not only do you have university and work, now you are starting an internship! You are so excited but scared, anxious of how this will go on and how on earth you will juggle all your to-do’s.
You constantly sigh over your weekly planner, jotting down all your deadlines and priorities with a big frown on your face. It is nearly the end of your mid-semester break, which means you would have assignments due but friends that keep messaging you for catch-ups too.
You are still holding on to that dangerous habit of yours – leaving things for the good old ‘tomorrow’ and eventually struggling at the last minute! This means that soon you will be panicking with the extra load of work on your shoulder, which is even more worrying.
You notice time going extra fast these days. An hour does not seem or feel like it, especially when you are watching videos on YouTube – when you start, it is only 9 o’clock but the next minute you check the time, it is already way over 11. You wonder how on earth this happened, hurrying yourself to bed so that you can wake up at 5AM for work tomorrow.
Even waking up is postponed with the numerous alarms set at every 5 minutes. It is around 5:25 that you mentally slap yourself for last night and force yourself to get up…then you do this again that day…and the next…and the next.
Ofcourse, you are still praying and reading the Word when you can. But you know that the real problem is not just procrastination or the lack of time management skills. It is that God has become your ‘when you can’.
He is nowhere in your weekly planner, or in your list of to-do’s, or in your list of priorities. You tell yourself that He is ‘everywhere’, but it is actually more like ‘there somewhere’. Rather than fumbling for your Bible, you search for your phone in the morning.
Rather than His light from His Word waking you up, it is the blue light of the phone’s screen. Rather than His Word feeding your morning hunger, it is yoghurt and bananas. Rather than prayers that wash your sins, it is water and toothpaste. You comfort yourself with Christian podcasts during the bus ride to work, and the short prayers that you make in your mind throughout the day.
At night, it’s YouTube time, assignments time, texting time and…no time for God – it is 11PM already, you must get to sleep, you will meditate in the morning, you tell yourself.
But you were reminded during small group this week that this must stop. You have to switch your thinking from ‘let’s give God the time I have left’ to ‘let’s make time for God’. You remembered reading Psalms 1, where it says “Blessed is the one…who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither” (Psalms chapter 1 verse 1-3).
Holding on to these verses, you reflected on how you were like “chaff that the wind blows away” without His Word that grounds you, becomes your firm root (Psalms chapter 1 verse 4).
Because yes, just like a jellyfish flowing to the current of the ocean, you were merely floating along to the flowing current of time. Time was wasted not just because of YouTube but because you were living mindlessly despite being a blood-bought, beloved Christian chosen by God.
Just as your favourite pastor, John Piper preached, “be a dolphin! Cut through the tidal waves and swim towards Truth, holiness and Heaven”. Romans chapter 12 verse 2 says very specifically “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind”. Only through scripture meditation and deep prayers with the Lord can you achieve this. Gain the strength from Him to break through the tides of secular culture, tides of bad habits and fleshly, lazy desires.
The current of time keeps flowing with strong tides of this world – you must be equipped and strengthened constantly lest you become a mere jellyfish.
I hope that you wouldn’t think God has left you all alone in this. Even in this moment Jesus is interceding for you (Romans chapter 8 verse 34). The Holy Spirit will give you the wisdom that you need to understand His Word and be renewed by it once again, and continue to sanctify You in Your spiritual journey.
I can already see you worrying about ending up as a jellyfish again after some time, but know that “God Himself goes before You, and will be with You, never leave or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy chapter 31 verse 8). Pray for strength you do not have, desire that you lack. Look not unto yourself but to the Almighty God who loves you.
Sunny Kang is a Press Service International young writer from Auckland