When I turned eighteen, I began to realise just how important it was to surround myself with good, godly, and supportive people.
My parents had always advised me to “choose your friends wisely”, but I never realised just how true this was until I finished school and began my life towards adulthood. Who I chose to surround myself with, greatly impacted every aspect of my life.
For every decision I make, I consult my parents first. Not out of obligation, but because I trust their advice and know that whatever they tell me is honest, full of wisdom, and Biblical.
My parents are not the only people I talk to when I need guidance and/or support, I have also identified family friends — generally my parent’s friends, who have become mentors and godly advisors in my life.
When life gets real
Life is full of moments that require objective perspectives. Whether it be deciding on a future career or pathway, a relationship, a personal struggle, or an idea, we all need people who we trust to guide and support us through these seasons of our life.
I am so grateful for good people in my life who speak truth and wisdom into my life. I can confidently say that I was able to navigate my decision making and circumstances much more easily, whilst also being pointed in the right direction because of the advice I received from those I trust.
Before I started dating my boyfriend, I talked to my parents constantly about everything I was experiencing and feeling whilst on the brink of this new and exciting season of my life. I wanted to know their thoughts and feelings about my potential situation and gain some knowledge and wisdom from them that would guide my next step/s.
Since then, I have identified certain people (married couples) who have been such a blessing in our life and have observed, encouraged, supported, guided, and prayed with us throughout our first year of dating.
This confirmation and support have given us the freedom to navigate our relationship through consistent prayer, with the constant backing of supportive and wise advisors.
Wisdom
No matter the advice given, or if I do not like what I hear, every suggestion, word of encouragement, challenging statement or suggestion given is received with an open mind and heart because I want the best outcome for my life.
Society has created a culture that proclaims people’s feelings and emotions but does not opening proclaim and encourage identifying people we trust, nor teach us to be okay with the ‘tough love’ conversations that help in times of decision making.
We celebrate ‘hyping’ each other up and covering it in a blanket statement of “you will get through this”, but the reality is that sometimes we need someone to be there to tell us the truth of the situation. When we put our ego aside and listen to those we trust, we can then alter our direction or focus, which can often save us from a lot of unnecessary heartache and/or stress.
Ultimately, if someone questions something that you are doing or a decision you have made, whether you agree with it or not, it is important to listen to what they have to say and pray for clarity and confirmation over that situation.
I value a true and objective perspective, as they require honesty from the people closest to me, and it is wise to listen. Those who know me best and who I trust the most are significant people in my life, as I can always guarantee an honest opinion from them.
Throughout my life I have been wise enough to identify those who do not encourage, support, uplift, speak into my life, or who genuinely care about the outcome of my decisions.
I believe it is so important to recognise that it is okay to be honest with yourself, and others if necessary, and to know exactly who fits each category when it comes to those you can trust with your life situations, and those you cannot.
The process
Proverbs chapter 15 verse 22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.”
This verse has always held great importance in my life, as the Bible encourages us to have many advisors in order to succeed in life.
I have always had a decision-making process that involves, firstly, confronting the moment/situation and surrendering it to God in prayer and petition. I then spend time talking to those whom I trust and seek their advice and assistance.
This is always followed by a covering of prayer and asking God for confirmation that their word is in line with God’s will for my situation, and then acting on that accord.
This process not only helps me to remain peaceful and focused on making the right decision/s, but it also instils confidence that I have confirmation from God, people I trust, and my own judgement on the situation.
Obligatory prayer
Romans chapter 12 verse 12 says, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
Although it is important to have many advisors, it is also important to recognise that we may also be someone else’s trusted advisor. With this role, we have an obligation to pray over that person’s life and seek council from God in order to correctly direct those in need of direction.
John chapter 17 verse nine says, “I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.”
Psalm chapter 32 verse six says, “Therefore let all the faithful pray to you while you may be found; surely the rising of the mighty waters will not reach them.”
When you pray over your situations and ask God to guide you, He sends the right people in to help you and guide you with a wise, well-intentioned and loving objective perspective.
I pray that the Lord guides you in your direction and decision making, as well as being wise in choosing who to trust. May He also direct those with whom you trust to help guide you in your circumstances and decisions, so that in all things you do, you succeed with God’s approval and guidance, and His smiling face shining upon you.