I found myself walking around Disneyland, an unexpected gift from a friend. The last time I had been I was 7 years old.
It’s easy to get caught up in the magic of Disney. For me, this particular day brought about a mirage of memories and a lot of gratitude.
Memories
At 7, the coolest thing in the world to me was the Little Mermaid. I remember tingling in anticipation for meeting her. I was a smart kid and the moment I saw Mickey Mouse I knew this wasn’t the real thing. Ariel, however slipped through the cracks of reality and remained a person I could meet.
I was an incredibly fearful kid. In rooms with a lot of people I couldn’t sort out all that I was discerning and it left me feeling unsafe and overwhelmed. At Disneyland, my poor mum didn’t know what to do because instead of being overjoyed, I remained in a state of panic. So she prayed. We saw a lot of the small world ride that day and not a lot of rollercoasters. Just the entrance to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride freaked me out.
I’ve walked through a lot of fear and self-assessment since then.
Self-assessment
I recognize that as a child, I was empathetic, discerning, and spiritually aware but I had no one who could explain how to manage those things.
If you are empathetic, it means that if you walk into a room where there is sadness, that emotion passes through your emotional boundary lines undetected and you become sad unknowingly. If you meet with a friend and they are angry, you know without being told and often leave with that burden of anger too. For the empaths of the world, peace is your neutral. The moment you start feeling things without having actually lived those emotions in context to your own life, pray until your peace comes back and give those burdens back to Jesus.
If you are discerning and spiritually aware this can look like knowing in your gut someone isn’t a safe person, or knowing you shouldn’t be doing something you think you want to do, or knowing a book has something in it that is dangerous. It’s partially a moral compass and partially a gift to help you navigate different situations.
Without the training and teaching giving context to Holy Spirit, this gift can feel like a lot of information all at once. Also, people who’ve dabbled in witchcraft, palm reading, divination, or dark arts or kids whose parents have can experience an open door to the spirit world prior to God’s design. It becomes a gift without parenting and it can become hurtful, restrained by fear and judgement.
So as a kid, having had family who dabbled, I was way too aware and it all got jumbled up. Disney is famous for stories where there are princesses and evil enchantresses so everywhere you went there was things that freaked me out and overwhelmed me. My first experience at Disney I remember almost falling out of a roller coaster because I didn’t weigh enough and my dad had to pull me back in the seat.
By the end of the day, I remember praying my first God prove yourself prayer. We were going to the Disney parade and I prayed God would have the Little Mermaid pick me out of the crowd and take me on her float. I felt she was a safe person. Sure, enough guess what happened… I rode the float with her and she gave me her plastic bead necklaces.
I wore a princess hat for months after that.
This round
I found myself walking through old memories with a new perspective. I was no longer afraid and overwhelmed by people and I found myself thanking God for his Lordship and all that He has changed in me. I still recognized things that referenced evil, but I could pray a prayer over other little kids that they wouldn’t be marked the way I was.
I even had de ja vu.
I was walking through this area where there are restaurants in storefronts. I remember seeing people, at 7, knocking on a wall and having it open. Somewhere in my memory I even saw some of the artwork that was up in that hidden room… a trumpet player that fades out of a picture and pops up in a corner over by the bar. I remember playing a game looking for where Tinkerbell was in the room.
My friend that surprised me with this present trip took me up into Club 33 behind the secret wall, and into the bar where the paintings move. I’d seen it before, yet I’d never physically been. Maybe in a dream? But as my friend told me about the paintings, I already knew. I also found Tinkerbell straight away.
The kindness of the Lord echoes across time to me in these ways. Presently, I felt the smile of a loving Father with me at the park this round. The rides worked and I didn’t fall out of them. Disneyland was indeed redeemed.
Kalli Hendrickson is a Press Service International young writer from Brisbane and now in the USA.
Kalli was born in the beautiful State of Montana, USA. She currently works as a High School Art teacher in San Diego, California.