About six weeks ago my closet door came slightly off its hinges when I was moving some boxes around. I collected the tiny screws on my nightstand for safekeeping so I could fix it right up. I have looked in my closet, often stared actually, trying to decide what to wear every single day over the last six weeks.
And yet I have still not fixed my broken closet door. I have become so used to the brokenness of my door. I can now instinctually move around it in order to reach clothes in the very back without kicking my little toes.
In the same way there are broken things in my own life that have become so normalised. Some of these things have existed for a very long time and the thought of addressing and solving them is foreign to me because I have devised so many ways of ‘getting around them.’
My health is one of these things. I do not have a good relationship with food. My busy schedule means that when I do eat I am usually eating on the run; in my car, in the train or at my desk and I need to have things that are quick and convenient.
These things are not always the most nutritious and as such I have welcomed fatigue and a variety of other symptoms into my life, coming to view them as my new normal.
God has since brought this issue to my attention highlighting it as abnormal.
God’s Heart
It is God’s ultimate desire to bring blessing, healing and restoration to our lives. He does this in the context of relationship with us through the application of His Word and the work of His Spirit.
God identifies the things that are ugly and messy in our hearts and draws them to our attention because he loves us too much to let us stay in our brokenness. Even when brokenness is our very lens and we become so accustomed to it we can’t even recognise it for what it is, God shines a light in order to bring healing.
“His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defence, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it – no matter what.” (Hebrews chapter 4, verses 12- 13)
An insurmountable challenge?
Too often I can feel overwhelmed at the prospect of facing the challenges and the brokenness that have come to light. It would be much easier for me to avoid the issue and to avoid what would be very uncomfortable, hard work to begin the long journey toward restoration. I don’t always have the time available to invest in making and sustaining so many changes.
But God often calls us to engage in difficult situations. To work hard, to pray and to expect He will bring about incredible outcomes.
I am fortified by God’s promise to strengthen me and to never forsake me. What He has for my future is the offer of increasing levels of freedom. And I don’t want to continue to live crippled in brokenness and disability.
At the end of the day it will be my choice to answer the question God so gently and quietly whispers to me, “Do you want to receive healing?”
Hannah Edwards has recently graduated from theological studies, is an avid shopper and is learning to cook. She is currently ministering to women in Brisbane in both church and community spheres, empowering women to reach their fullest potential. Hannah is also the founder of the online community Harvest Joy Women. Further material is available from www.harvestjoywomen.com
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