Marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts from God – but it is not for the faint-hearted. It requires a lot of different things from both you and your spouse. Even when you feel like your whole being is ready for it, that does not mean that it is enough to win the battles. Yes, battles. Marriage is a battlefield. There will be a lot of unseen forces and enemies that both of you will have to fight, together.
So don’t get married if…
You are not willing to forgive – persistently
Marriage is a union of two forgivers. Marriage does not contain joy alone. It contains imperfectness, flaws, weaknesses, and lots and lots of mistakes. Both of you are meant not to just love each other but also to hurt each other from time to time – this is unavoidable. So don’t get married if you are not ready to go through all these – and come out as a forgiving spouse.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians chapter 3, verse 13)
You are not willing to sacrifice – every day
Marriage is not always rainbows and sunshine! Every day, you are meant to sacrifice something – it can either be as simple as giving your favorite part of the cake or as big as sacrificing time for yourself or your career. Sacrifice may sound beautiful as it is like a labor of love, but it is not easy.
This will mean that you are going to lose some parts of yourself just so your marriage can be whole – just like how Jesus sacrificed himself for us so that we can be whole again. So don’t get married if you are not ready to sacrifice every single day.
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
(John chapter 15, verse 13)
You are not willing to give all your love – for the rest of your life
When we are in the dating stage, we often say to ourselves “I will save some love for myself”; but in marriage, this should not be the case. We either give it our all or we don’t get married at all.
This is our whole life ahead of us, our lifetime commitment – it can never last that long if you are only giving 80% of your heart, mind, body, and soul. You and your spouse will become one flesh in marriage, so if you only give a part of your flesh, then that won’t be a complete union, right? So don’t get married if you are not willing to give the whole you for the rest of your life.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
(1 Peter chapter 4 verse 8)
You are not willing to do it with Christ
When you feel like you and your partner are so in love and so ready for marriage but do not include Jesus in your plans – then the chance of losing on the battlefield is as high as it can be.
Everything else that I have written above – you can never do all that without Jesus. He is the glue to your union. He is the only constant way to fix everything up in every situation that you and your spouse will face. So don’t get married – if you think that you and your spouse can make it to the end, without Jesus.
“So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”(Matthew chapter 19 verse 6)
You are not willing to serve God
We may think that marriage is for our happiness and for the benefit of ourselves – but it is not. It never was. God has united two people together for the purpose of the Kingdom’s expansion. If you just want to serve your spouse, your children, and everyone around you but God – then marriage is not for you.
We are joined together in one flesh for reasons that are way deeper than creating a household or getting a stable income. Your union should be used to spread the Gospel and show the love that Jesus has shown us. Your responsibility does not fall under your roof only – your responsibility should also be to lead souls to God.
So don’t get married if you are only thinking of your own happiness and not ready to be united with God’s will and glory.
“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians chapter 13, verse 5)
So don’t get married…
If you are not willing to do all these. There are still a lot more that I could not cover here but being willing to forgive, sacrifice, love deeply, let Jesus be the center, and serve God with your spouse – are the ones that I have learned so far to be very important.
I pray in Jesus’ Name that we will always have the courage to willingly give all these for this beautiful gift from God called marriage and be in union with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit – for the rest of our lives.
“And now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
(1 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 13)