Up to this point, in my wrestling with God, I have written about prayer, the Bible and God not responding. My spiritual life has had moments of glory followed by many more moments of struggle and sometimes it seems that there is no rest for the weary. I picture myself stumbling along with a huge backpack of thoughts and arguments, ready to be pulled out in a moment’s notice, not allowing me to rest. My mind is a battle ground, so let’s continue this battle together.
I would rather not hide it from the rest of the world, perhaps because God wants me to share my battle.
My journey with worship has been a mostly good one. I found a place where I can freely express my love and gratitude towards a God that created everything. It’s a place where I have experienced freedom and breakthrough’s in my life as I experienced God’s Presence in ways I haven’t before.
I believe when we, as children of God worship Him, He comes in a more tangible way than He does at other times. That’s not to say God doesn’t show up at other times, but there’s something different about corporate worship.
Expectancy
We see this in many places in the Bible. As God’s people gather together, the presence and voice of God comes in a unique and powerful way. And because of this, I believe that we should have an expectancy to encounter God when we enter into public worship. When we start to expect God to move it puts us in a heart position to receive what He wants to give us. Our anticipation can start to drown out the stuff of the world that we might be thinking about otherwise.
Lacking
Recently my worship life has been lacking. The main reason is because of my wrestling with God. That big backpack of thoughts start to unpack when the worship music starts. But another reason is because I have stopped expecting God to show up. When I enter a Sunday morning service, my thoughts are on my day or my check list, not on God.
Not about me
In the last couple days, God has been convicting me that worship is not about me. And to be honest, I’ve been making a lot of church services all about me. My thoughts have immediately gone to: “I don’t feel like worshiping” or “I have so many other things to do”. These thoughts and many more have cluttered my mind and taken me away from giving God the glory He deserves.
Where’s your focus?
When God’s people really start worshiping Him, when they forget about the unworthy things in their life and start making God the focus of their worship, is when God shows up. I know, I know, my argumentative mind shouts at me “He can break through all that unworthy stuff by Himself, because HE IS GOD! Why does He need me to do something? I feel as if I’ve been doing a ton of things, trying to get myself out of this spiritual slump.” The short answer is that He doesn’t need me, but the real answer is: He wants me.
In worship we find ourselves placing God where He belongs. And as a church we start to become in one mind and in one spirit as we worship God. Because God has become our one focus. It’s in this place where God starts to dwell, to speak and to reveal Himself. Jesus said it Himself in John Chapter 4 Verse 23, “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.”
The Father is seeking worshipers and even in my doubt and confusion I want to be that worshiper. I haven’t stopped wrestling, but my goal is to start worshiping.
My challenge to myself and the readers: Let’s stop making worship about ourselves and start expecting that God will start moving through out worship.
Jason LaLone was on staff at YWAM Brisbane and is currently in America working with Truro Anglican Church located in Fairfax, Virginia. He is passionate about discipleship, taking Jesus’ command to make disciples a practical reality that he can live on a daily basis. He loves lasagna, cats and used to dislike Monday's, making him most like Garfield.
Jason LaLone’s previous articles might be viewed at: http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/Jason-LaLone.html