Why in many relationships, when there is a rejection, deception, it’s always had a place of painful pain? Is that because we love so much the other person? Probably not, maybe it’s because we were so focus on ourselves, that we never imagine it can happen.
Similarly, to the dysfunctional relationship of Samson and Delilah, he had an egocentric love towards Delilah, taking from her the satisfaction of all his pleasures, which he could not even imagine the betrayal possibility (Judges 16 18 Delilah realized that he was telling the truth. So, she sent someone to tell the Philistine rulers, “Come to my house one more time. Samson has finally told me the truth”).
Some people appear to have true love, but their love has a certain limiting capacity. They do not cope very well, when others have success more than them, they like to be in the control, if the other surpasses in whatever the area, their true colors come up, envy feelings, jealousy comes to surface. This is what happens with David and Saul’s - 1 Samuel 187-8
As they danced, they sang:
“Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his tens of thousands.”
Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?
The way of being mature, in any relation, whether it be between brothers, friends, or even couples, is when we can give the good from us for other person. That is called benevolence, kindness, compassion, it’s much above feelings, emotions, passions, and it's a decision,Jesus decided to love us, so much so that His sacrifices on the Calvarywas not based on feelings.
On the other hand, the problem is that many people have difficulty in personalizethemselves, because several times we are surrounded by strange elements such asculture, misunderstood religion, profession; those are masks that we wear in which we lose our identity. There are many people talking in a professional, religious way making difficult to recognize their true essence;you cannot love something that does not have a true self;
That is why it is necessary that we undress of every mask, loving the neighbor without judgments, without pretending to be a version of people that we are not.
Liliana Ferrão is from ambique, currently living and studying in Queensland at James Cook University. lilianaferrao4@hotmail.com