The day finally came when I would walk proudly across that brightly lit stage to shake the hand of the man who would give me the piece of paper explaining what I had spent 3.5 years focussing on to officially qualify in. BIG sigh of relief when I held that paper in my hand. It was finally over.
I have spent endless hours, blood (papercuts–it happens), sweat and tears, and sleep deprived late nights loaded up on way too much coffee and tea attempting to perfect the wonderful tasks of my Uni assessments.
I am so proud of what I have accomplished and for sticking at it amongst the other events of life on top of that. But amidst all of that, no matter the circumstances, it was a big realisation that if you want to accomplish something you have to go through the journey. No pain, no gain – am I right?
There is no easy way of addressing the elephant in the room – pain. Pain is a substantial amount of many things that collide with your every day to make it just that little more interesting and unbearable.
I read a quote once that said ‘God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors’. Well that must be either an enormous honour or a very confronting privilege, but we all deal with pain; and sometimes, unfortunately, some more than others.
The unbearable
Dealing with unbearable circumstances can seem like a dead-end in that ‘all so hopeful’ life we aim for. I have gone through many situations that at the time I thought were unbearable. They would keep me up late at night pondering over every conversation, every moment, and every element.
My situation, however, was not the most unbearable of circumstances to face. What made it unbearable was the way I dealt with it. I realise now, if I had changed my perspective or focus onto something else, or lessened the impact of the circumstance on myself, it would have been easier to handle. It was me that held myself hostage in a prison of emotional pain.
We can often do that to ourselves, and most of the time, we don’t even realise it. It was a sword in my side, and I felt washed under a sea of words such as ‘You can’t do it.’, ‘You earned your emotional suffering.’, ‘It’s all your fault anyway. You are just getting what you deserve.’ NO! No, that is not how I want to speak to myself.
The devil seeks to remove the good we see in ourselves; our worth, our purpose, our ability to dream. It scared me thinking how easily I let myself slip, but it happens. The devil cannot have a hold over my mind like this again.
When we feel the hope of a beautiful, fresh future escape our grasp, we must step up in prayer immediately. God is bigger than a devious devil-led downfall and the Bible reminds us in Romans chapter 10 verse 13 that, “Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.”
Let go
Pain can seem like an incessant plague that sucks away happiness in every part of your life. The foothold that evil has on God’s children needs to be recklessly broken, otherwise it will lead us onto a very dark path, much worse than what we thought we were originally facing.
I want more for my life. I want a God-filled life. One that is refreshed daily, that is constantly a reminder of how great my God is. Funny thing is, we actually already have that, or the potential for it, but it is all about our perspective and how we choose to see our day.
The day I released my pain to God, the devil fled. James chapter 4, verse 7 says “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
Renewed
There are some days that we just have to face, so that the days to come are better. When my mind and heart were renewed and I stopped looking at my pain as a time to pity myself for all that it is worth, I was able to focus on how to better myself, with God by my side.
Jesus went through excruciating pain on the cross when he died for us. The beautiful thing is, we didn’t deserve that sacrifice, we didn’t deserve that honour of being saved by Christ who placed himself in our stead, but he looked at us and knew we were worth it, despite our mistakes, despite our sin, despite our unholy mindset.
Pain is just a rough way of explaining stepping stones. Every stab, I learn something new. Every discouragement, I am encouraged in some new way. Every disappointment, I will be appointed for new things.
I cannot avoid the pain of life, as much as I would love to, but God does not want my heart to be discouraged. He wants me to face it with him and come out stronger.
‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.’ (Isaiah chapter 30, verse 15).
So here I am, after my graduation, continuing to embark on the exciting, yet painful in some aspects, adventure of completing my honours. The road may be long, the journey may be tiring, we may be covered in bruises, but we will make it through and it will be worth it in the long run because God has a plan.
He uses everything we do for something greater to come. That is extremely exciting!! Keep your head up, face the pain with strong certainty that God has it all under control, and remember, no pain, no gain. You are strengthened by your pain, and triumph in God is what you gain. You’ve got this.
‘When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles.’ (Psalm chapter 34, verse 17).
Cartia Moore is a sword fighter, trained and skilled in the art of fencing. She has recently graduated from her Bachelor of Arts degree, and is now studying an Honours in Screen & Media Studies. Her focus is film, television and swordfighting sequences. She is a youth leader, and has a passion for bringing young girls to God and helping them to seek and find their worth and value in Him.
Cartia Moore’s previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/cartia-moore.html