Recently, as I scroll through my Instagram feed and suggestions, im grossly turned off. I can’t count the amount of horrible “mental health” advice posts anymore. It seems to me that everyone is encouraging you to implement “boundaries” and count the times you have been hurt, used and abused.
In fact, many of these posts are triggering and just bring back feelings of resentment and helplessness to me when I read them. I get it, they are trying to help. However, these authors and their posts are far from healing. Oppositely, they come off as divisive and pain inflicting.
I’m not sure about you, but when I read my bible and listen to my Christian counsellors and mentors, every single thing they advise me which has lead me to significant healing and benefit starkly contradicts these “beloved” Instagram therapists. I want to share with you in this article some time-tested strategies for emotional healing which I have learnt from the bible and sound Christian mentorship.
Strategy 1: Recognise that hurting persons hurt other people
Why are we so quick to jump down our parent’s case on things they did to us which caused us pain? Why are we so eager to roll our eyes at our ex’s new love and gossip about them and say “I hope she gives him his own medicine” Why is it that after our “toxic” boss has done so much to bless us financially in the midst of a pandemic and rising inflation, all we can do is talk with our other co-workers how arrogant, mean, critical and hurtful they are?
Why is it that we always jump into victim mode and label everyone else as “toxic”, “bad”, “naughty”? Could it be that the wounds they inflict on us are a result of them being wounded themselves? I’ll be honest with you, holding onto your right to feel hurt is not going to heal you.
Yes, you are hurt, and the pain is real, but so is the other persons pain. Degrading them, belittling them and slandering them behind their backs as if we have a right to, is ungodly. The bible says love keeps no record of wrongs. So, step number one to healing is gracing others with the understanding that we are all in a world of perpetual hurt.
Strategy 2 – Journal
The persons who have to deem themselves social media therapists are obviously the ones in the most pain because a social media profile full of triggering emotions is a life void of journaling and processing. I can talk about this because I have lived that life and it got me nowhere.
If you want to heal, journal, and then find a trusted psychotherapist who can process your feelings and thoughts with you. There is more than likely a root to all the turmoil you are feeling. Discover that root and uproot it. Cutting down branches which can grow back will not heal you. A social media emotional dump wont either. You need a therapist. We all do.
Strategy 3 – forgive, and forgive again!
I titled the article after forgiveness because it is the key ingredient to healing. Not boundaries, not social media rants, not sex, drugs, gambling, music, parties, food or brand-new clothes.
The world thinks forgiveness is for the weak, for doormats and fools. The world, even social media and highly influential pastors aren’t talking and preaching enough of the power of forgiveness for your mental health.
We are often told forgiveness helps you get to heaven and get a A+ in Gods books. No. Forgiveness is not for the other person, its for you. It’s for your success, your peace, your health, your prosperity, everything. It’s not fair and it is the toughest things to do when trying to heal. Wicked things have been done against us. Some things worthy of legal action.
They have traumatized us. However, seeking revenge and recompense is God’s duty. We are to forgive. We are to move on. This means stop rehearsing, stop nursing offence and stop throwing pity parties. This is the way through. The light of your wholeness and healing is in the rays of forgiveness. Not in resentment.
In closing, Ill confess that I haven’t always been quick to forgive, so in a way, I’m preaching to my readers as much as I’m encouraging myself. We can’t expect to get where we desire to be by following formulas that are not in scripture. We have a merciful God who forgave us first.
We have a God who has so much grace, that He will impart it to you for your situation once you ask. It matters not who did what to you. You can heal and you can find joy. It starts with forgiveness. It starts by putting your pain to rest and taking up your freedom again.
Will you choose God’s way? I hope you find your way through!
Blessings!